Fully Alive…Ready to Smile

posted by erin on Mar 12

For me the smell of spring is clean. Today my wonderful mother came over and helped me clean. It seems so often that I can only do a little at a time and it never feels really, really clean. So my floors are washed, my bathrooms are sparkling, I vacuumed up a dust storm and laundry is well on it’s way. And if that wasn’t enough, we baked buns. I’m trying to lure my brother to my house to roof our garage and he has this thing for fresh buns. So I thought I would bring him some and hopefully he’ll feel really generous and turn up to finish the job that was supposed to get done in October!!! As my emoticon on the side of my blog shows, I’m feeling mighty accomplished right now. It smells fresh in here, and I can walk across my floor without some remnant of the kids meals and/or snacks sticking to my feet! That’s a nice feeling!!!! (Does anyone else have to sweep 3 times a day or is it just me?)

posted by erin on Mar 11

The kiddos are in bed, Jeremy Camp playing on my stereo and I’m sitting here reflecting on this morning’s service. Our pastor was talking about how there are so many things that make us feel like we’re not good enough and make us feel like God might be ashamed of us. This week I’ve gone through a deep dark valley with our our credit card situation. That’s the thing, it’s our situation, but I’ve taken ownership of it and I’m trying to balance the weight of heaviness by myself. It’s my credit card, and my habits and lack of faith that God will provide like He says He will that have made me feel this way. I’m the one who should silently suffer and worry about where we’re going to get the money to pay for it. So I’m ashamed and it feels wrong to go to God and ask Him to dig me out of this hole (the one I keep falling into). Luckily for me it’s not as huge a hole as we’ve had, but from where I’m standing, it looks unfathomably large.

But amidst all my silent suffering and shying away from God, my heart slowly drew me closer to Him and I humbled myself to ask for peace and help. The verse that came to me this morning after the service was Jeremiah 29:11 “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” and one of the verses from this morning’s message, which also soothed my weary soul, Matthew 11:28-30

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your soul. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light”.

Our pastor said that it seems most of us think that if our burden is heavy, God’s will be so much heavier, because He is GOD, but in fact He wants only the best for us!! I felt like Him speaking to me and reminding me that if I put my trust in Him and lay my burden at His feet He would provide for us and His yoke would truly be lighter the the massive one I’m trying to carry on my own. And suddenly I looked at the past few days a little differently…the fact that my neighbor asked me to babysit her kids one day this week and paid me what she pays her regular babysitter was God providing for me in my desperate moment. The fact that my groceries were less than what they usually cost was God providing. Even though I know the numbers and only x amount of dollars come in every week, God still moves beyond our box and shows us His mercy.

posted by erin on Mar 10

Okay, so I have the best friends in the whole wide world (I actually mean that without sarcasm, too). In fact, they are so awesome that I’ve had one of them, who I won’t name, offer to help me out with my long list of things to do and be the one to come over for supper or Sunday lunch (#11 & 12) and receive the “just because” care package (#26). She’s willing to put herself out for me! Thank you, Louise…oops, I mean anonymous friend…

posted by erin on Mar 9

So here’s my “whoa momma” list of things I’d like to do. Not just do ever, but do in the next 1001 days. Why the random number you may ask? Well apparently it’s the thing to do. I didn’t make it up, but I decided to try and be a little more goal oriented. I’m not great at sticking to things. I’ve got wonderful intentions, but somehow I always manage to lose my way. So here I go…The Mission:Complete 101 preset tasks in a period of 1001 days.The Criteria:Tasks must be specific (ie. no ambiguity in the wording) with a result that is either measurable or clearly defined. Tasks must also be realistic and stretching (ie. represent some amount of work on my part).Why 1001 Days?Many people have created lists in the past – frequently simple goals such as new year’s resolutions. The key to beating procrastination is to set a deadline that is realistic. 1001 Days (about 2.75 years) is a better period of time than a year, because it allows you several seasons to complete the tasks, which is better for organising and timing some tasks such as overseas trips or outdoor activities.My Own RulesIf the task involves forming a new habit, it won’t be considered complete until it’s been performed for at least 2 months without fail. In the event it is failed, I will start over.Start Date: March 9, 2007End Date: December 4, 2009In Progress: 10Finished: 39

1. have potted herb garden (planted May 27/07)
2. start recycling (done April 9/07, got a blue box)
3. buy myself fresh flowers once a month
4. clean bathrooms every monday
5. build 2 houses (2/2)
6. buy a new cookbook and try at least 50% of the recipes
7. eat at 529 Wellington
8. eat at Hy’s Steak House
9. try 10 new restaurants (10/10)
10. try sushi
11. learn to make creme brulee or a real chocolate mousse
12. pay off my credit card
13. pay off our mortgage
14. give $25/month to a cause/charity/mission (30/33)
15. start a retirement savings plan
16. collect any change I find and cash it in on day 1001 (started April 10/07 – $0.65)
17. donate $5 to some cause/charity/mission for every item not completed by day 1001
18. get a will written up
19. play bingo
20. find some event or place to wear fancy dress (see #70)
21. learn to make martinis
22. send a just because care package to a friend
23. meet another bloggy friend (met Kimberly)
24. start a 365 photo project
25. do the Book Crossing thing
26. participate in a 26 things
27. go to an opera (April/08)
28. take Ella to the ballet
29. go to an art museum
30. get a nose piercing
31. start a journal
32. journal regularly
33. have a full day at the spa with any treatment I want
34. go another month without sugar, yeast, flour, vinegars, preservatives (April/08)
35. get more education (workshops, courses)
36. give blood
37. leave a 100% tip for excellent service in a restaurant
38. write more letters
39. write down all my friends birthdays and give them a card made by moi (did this for one year)
40. go to the chiropractor every month (30/33)
41. walk or exercise at least every other day (started April 8/07)
42. take a fitness class (iron yoga April/07)
43. drink 8 or 9 cups of water daily
44. try to eat cleanse friendly food 75% of the time
45. go to the dentist
46. floss and brush my teeth every day
47. shave my legs once a week 
48. Make my bed every day
49. do daily skin cleansing routine
50. keep up with my laundry (fold directly out of dryer and put away)
51. clean my house from top to bottom once a month 
52. stay off computer until my list of chores for day is done 
53. Get up earlier than my kids on weekdays
54. go through my magazines and clip all the pictures or articles that inspire me for my design binder
55. redo my personal cookbook
56. have a garage sale
57. back up photos onto an external hard drive
58. get home videos converted to dvd
59. go through my utensil drawer and get rid of anything I haven’t used (done March 12/07)
60. scan my childhood pictures to a disc from Mom and Dad’s collection
61. buy a new pillow
62. buy albums for pictures
63. buy nice stationary (done for me by Rachelle March 22/07)
64. buy a fancy dress
65. finish my current cross-stitch project
66. get the girls rooms decorated to completion
67. read 50 books (50/50)
69. start a travel savings account
70. get a passport
71. Go on a 2-week holiday
72. have a girls weekend in the U.S.
73. take a road trip
74. take a photography course
75. go visit Val in Illinois : ) (October/07)
76. Go visit Val again! (June/08)
77. go on a train
78. go see Josh Groban or Michael Buble (done August 12, 2007 saw Josh Groban)
79. have a vegetable garden
80. get back to 140 lbs.
81. buy my own fondue set
82. get our garage roofed (it shouldn’t take 1001 days, but it’s already taken 5 months and no sign of the roofers – my dear brothers!) (done April 13/07 FINALLY!)
83. own at least 12 pairs of shoes (all at the same time…12/12)
84. Potty train Aidan
85. paint our front door a different color
86. learn to jog/run (started April 25/07)
87. get an SLR camera (October/08)
88. get some of my pictures done on canvas

posted by erin on Mar 9

I just want to let everyone know how proud I am of Louise for joining the blogging world. Please go and welcome her by stopping by and seeing what a lovely gal she is. Welcome to the blogosphere, sista!

posted by erin on Mar 9

With Ella, conversation is always fun. It’s rather funny and sometimes completely off the wall. Being 3, I suppose there is so much going on in her little brain and it doesn’t always come out in a cohesive manner. Take today’s supper conversation, for example…

Ella: Do firetrucks blow fire?

Me: Huh?

Ella: Does fire come out of firetrucks?

Me: No, water comes out of firetrucks to put fires out.

Ella: Oh…Animals can’t talk, right?

Me: Right.

Ella: Lions and tigers don’t talk. Neither do peacocks.

Me: That’s right.

Ella: Not even mommy and daddy tigers can talk.

Me: Nope.

So there you have it. The wanderings in a 3 year olds brain.

posted by erin on Mar 8

Found this over at Val’s blog (she’s a cool new friend I met at the Ultimate Blog Party!). We’ll see if I can answer these in only 3 words…that could be REALLY hard for me… : )

01. Where is your cell phone? in my purse
02. Boyfriend/girlfriend? husband (best friend)
03. Hair? long, dark brown
04. Your mother? neat silver hair
05. Your father? going very grey
06. Your favorite item(s)? laptop, camera, ipod
07. Your dream last night? I don’t remember
08. Your favorite drink? iced tea always
09. Your dream guy/girl? Jer, of course
10. The room you are in? my dining room
11. Your fear? embarrassed by someone
12. What do you want to be in 10 years? healthy, passionately loved
13. Who did you hang out with last night? laptop and tv
14. What are you not? motivated to work
15. Are you in love? yes I am
16. One of your wish list items? interior design books
17. What time is it? quarter to two
18. The last thing you did? made family lunch
19. What are you wearing? jeans, layered shirt
20. Your favorite book? don’t have one
21. The last thing you ate? leftover lasagne, beans
22. Your life? busy, fun, wonderful
23. Your mood? mellow and peaceful
24. Your friends? greatest friends ever!!!
25. What are you thinking about right now? I should work…
26. Your car? gray 2000 Saturn
27. What are you doing at this moment? ummm, dumb question
28. Your summer? very, very busy
29. Your relationship status? married to Jer
30. What is on your TV screen? nothing at all
31. When is the last time you laughed? fifteen minutes ago
32. Last time you cried? fifteen minutes ago : )
33. School? college, distance education

posted by erin on Mar 7

Seeing as how obsessed I am with books and reading I thought this would be a good one to do…I found this on a fellow blogger’s site. I guess it was put together by a book clubber.
The ones I’ve read (or started to read) are in bold RED.
The ones I want to read are in italics.
I’ve left alone the ones that I’m not interested in.

1. The Da Vinci Code (Dan Brown)
2. Pride and Prejudice (Jane Austen)
3. To Kill A Mockingbird (Harper Lee)
4. Gone With The Wind (Margaret Mitchell)
5. The Lord of the Rings: Return of the King (J.R.R. Tolkien)
6. The Lord of the Rings: Fellowship of the Ring (J.R.R. Tolkien)
7. The Lord of the Rings: Two Towers (J.R.R. Tolkien)
8. Anne of Green Gables (L.M. Montgomery)
9. Outlander (Diana Gabaldon)
10. A Fine Balance (Rohinton Mistry)
11. Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire (J.K. Rowling)
12. Angels and Demons (Dan Brown)
13. Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix (J.K. Rowling)
14. A Prayer for Owen Meany (John Irving)
15. Memoirs of a Geisha (Arthur Golden)
16. Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone (J.K. Rowling)
17. Fall on Your Knees (Ann-Marie MacDonald)
18. The Stand (Stephen King)
19. Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban (J.K. Rowling)
20. Jane Eyre (Charlotte Bronte)
21. The Hobbit (J.R.R. Tolkien)
22. The Catcher in the Rye (J.D. Salinger)
23. Little Women (Louisa May Alcott)
24. The Lovely Bones (Alice Sebold)
25. Life of Pi (Yann Martel)
26. The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy (Douglas Adams)
27. Wuthering Heights (Emily Bronte)
28. The Lion, The Witch and the Wardrobe (C. S. Lewis)
29. East of Eden (John Steinbeck)
30. Tuesdays with Morrie (Mitch Albom)
31. Dune (Frank Herbert)
32. The Notebook (Nicholas Sparks)
33. Atlas Shrugged (Ayn Rand)
34. 1984 (George Orwell)
35. The Mists of Avalon (Marion Zimmer Bradley)
36. The Pillars of the Earth (Ken Follett)
37. The Power of One (Bryce Courtenay)
38. I Know This Much is True (Wally Lamb)
39. The Red Tent (Anita Diamant)
40. The Alchemist (Paulo Coelho)
41. The Clan of the Cave Bear (Jean M. Auel)
42. The Kite Runner (Khaled Hosseini)
43. Confessions of a Shopaholic (Sophie Kinsella)
44. The Five People You Meet In Heaven (Mitch Albom)
45. Bible
46. Anna Karenina (Leo Tolstoy)
47. The Count of Monte Cristo (Alexandre Dumas)
48. Angela’s Ashes (Frank McCourt)
49. The Grapes of Wrath (John Steinbeck)
50. She’s Come Undone (Wally Lamb)
51. The Poisonwood Bible (Barbara Kingsolver)
52. A Tale of Two Cities (Charles Dickens)
53. Ender’s Game (Orson Scott Card)
54. Great Expectations (Charles Dickens)
55. The Great Gatsby (Scott Fitzgerald)
56. The Stone Angel (Margaret Laurence)
57. Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets (J.K. Rowling)
58. The Thorn Birds (Colleen McCullough)
59. The Handmaid’s Tale (Margaret Atwood)
60. The Time Traveller’s Wife (Audrew Niffenegger)
61. Crime and Punishment (Fyodor Dostoyevsky)
62. The Fountainhead (Ayn Rand)
63. War and Peace (Tolsoy)
64. Interview With The Vampire (Anne Rice)
65. Fifth Business (Robertson Davies)
66. One Hundred Years Of Solitude (Gabriel Garcia Marquez)
67. The Sisterhood of the Travelling Pants (Ann Brashares)
68. Catch-22 (Joseph Heller)
69. Les Miserables (Victor Hugo)
70. The Little Prince (Antoine de Saint-Exupery)
71. Bridget Jones’ Diary (Helen Fielding)
72. Love in the Time of Cholera (Gabriel Garcia Marquez)
73. Shogun (James Clavell)
74. The English Patient (Michael Ondaatje)
75. The Secret Garden (Frances Hodgson Burnett)
76. The Summer Tree (Guy Gavriel Kay)
77. A Tree Grows in Brooklyn (Betty Smith)
78. The World According To Garp (John Irving)
79. The Diviners (Margaret Laurence)
80. Charlotte’s Web (E.B. White)
81. Not Wanted On The Voyage (Timothy Findley)
82. Of Mice And Men (John Steinbeck)
83. Rebecca (Daphne DuMaurier)
84. Wizard’s First Rule (Terry Goodkind)
85. Emma (Jane Austen)
86. Watership Down (Richard Adams)
87. Brave New World (Aldous Huxley)
88. The Stone Diaries (Carol Shields)
89. Blindness (Jose Saramago)
90. Kane and Abel (Jeffrey Archer)
91. In the Skin of a Lion (Michael Ondaatje)
92. Lord of the Flies (William Golding)
93. The Good Earth (Pearl S. Buck)
94. The Secret Life of Bees (Sue Monk Kidd)
95. The Bourne Identity (Robert Ludlum)
96. The Outsiders (S.E. Hinton)
97. White Oleander (Janet Fitch)
98. A Woman of Substance (Barbara Taylor Bradford)
99. The Celestine Prophecy (James Redfield)
100. Ulysses (James Joyce)

posted by erin on Mar 6

Well, the day has arrived, my carpet in my basement is in. The last stair is being covered as I type. This means so many wonderful things to me. Toys will be relocated, scrapbooking stuff will have a home, extra tv will be available, computer desk won’t feel like it’s in a cold dungeon, kids will have space to run around wild during bible study so that we don’t have to listen to them above us. If my camera batteries hadn’t died yesterday I would have posted a picture. So I’ll do that later. For now I will just bask in the joy of having my basement on it’s way to being finished. Baseboards and ceiling are next, and these fortunately for us, are not necessary to use the basement.

posted by erin on Mar 6

I’m so excited!!!! I’ve had 1000 hits on my blog!!! This is very exciting for me. I was looking at the stat counter yesterday and I said to Jer, “Only 35 more till I hit 1000, Jer, isn’t that awesome?” He just nodded and smiled, apparently not finding as much to be excited about.

Thank you all for stopping by and hope you keep coming back. I’m having so much fun getting to know new people this week. Can’t wait to see who else I’ll meet…

posted by erin on Mar 5

So I took a color quiz and this is what they’ve spent millions of dollars and years of research to tell me about myself…(I don’t know if they actually spent millions, I kind of hope not as it would be money wasted). My comments are in pink.

Your Existing Situation

Hopes to obtain an improved position and greater prestige, so that she can procure for herself more of the things she has had to do without (Did someone I know talk to them?).

Your Stress Sources

The situation is regarded as threatening and dangerous (Uh oh…). Outraged at the thought that she will be unable to achieve her goals and distressed at her feeling of helplessness to remedy this (Oh, that’s definitely me, outraged!!) Over-extended and feels beset, possibly to the point of nervous prostration (It sounds like I need help!).

Your Restrained Characteristics (Do I have a restrained bone in my body?)

Emotionally inhibited. Feels forced to compromise, making it difficult for her to form a stable emotional attachment (hee, hee…).

Your Desired Objective

Wants interesting and exciting things to happen (ya, that’s true…). Able to make herself well-liked by her obvious interest and by the very openness of her charm (You’ve got me pegged…I’m just a charm factory!). Over-imaginative and given to fantasy or day-dreaming (Okay that’s kinda creepy how real that is).

Your Actual Problem (I have a problem?)

Depleted vitality has created an intolerance for any further stimulation, or demands on her resources (maybe from my kids…). This feeling of powerlessness subjects her to agitation and acute distress. She attempts to escape into a substitute world (how funny is that? blogging anyone?) in which things are more nearly as she desires them to be.

Your Actual Problem #2 (Oh, boy, another problem?)

Has a fear that she might be prevented from achieving the things she wants. This leads her to employ great personal charm in her dealings with others, hoping that this will make it easier for her to reach her objectives (I don’t think personal charm will get me to Italy, do you…unless you know someone with a private jet that I can charm the socks off?).

posted by erin on Mar 5

New Year’s resolutions are too hard to keep and I don’t know many people that have lasted more than maybe a couple months in keeping them. So today I made a new day resolution.

You see, I’m kind of addicted to blogging (and lately, reading other blogs)…ya, ya, you all knew that already, I know. In the last couple of weeks I noticed my house falling behind in the cleanliness area and my brain was in this state of “I don’t care” mode. Yesterday I decided that I did indeed care and went on a flurry of cleaning. Storming around the house muttering, “How does this get so bad? Am I the only one who notices when it gets this bad?” and so on. All the while in the back of my head I’m thinking, “You’re the one who did or should I say didn’t do this! If you didn’t spend so much time sitting around at your computer, maybe your house would look better!”

Thus the resolution. No, I’m not going to actually blog less, but I am going to do what needs doing before I go on the computer. Make sure my dishes are washed or in the dishwasher, laundry that needs folding is folded, table is wiped, etc. This will be my motivation for blogging. I will probably have to make that resolution newly every day, but I’ll try very hard to stick to it! I’m very impressed with the people who take a hiatus from blogging, but I’ll be honest with you, I’m just too fond of it. So I’ll make it work instead of letting it take over.

posted by erin on Mar 5

This is kind of fun. I found it on Leslie’s blog. Go and try it, it’s fun. Then go visit Leslie! (I met her at the Ultimate Blog Party)

posted by erin on Mar 4

I’m eating chocolate. Not just any chocolate, a Caramel Chunk Kit Kat. I couldn’t resist. It needed to be eaten. As of yesterday I’ve been on my candida cleanse for 8 weeks. I’ve only given in to temptation in the last 2 weeks because I was told it was okay once in a while now that I was so good for such a long time. But it’s amazing the guilt that accompanies each bite. I think the guilt is just a bi-product of telling myself “No” for so long that I’m not sure what to do with the permission. No worries though, my husband has just absconded with the chocolate and I’m not likely to ever see it again. He thinks it’s for my own good. He should know better than to take chocolate away from a sugar-crazed-hormonal-mommy! Oh, well, I was starting to get a sugar headache anyway.

posted by erin on Mar 4

Aidan is a real stinker. And I mean that in the nicest possible “love my child very much” kind of way. She cannot keep her hands to herself. It doesn’t matter how many times you say “NO”, she is disobedient!! I’m waiting to mark the date when she obeys me the first time I ask and believe me I will blog about it. Lately it’s the computer. When one of us is sitting by it, she MUST be on our laps with her sticky little fingers all over everything. Finally Jer got smart. He put Ella’s princess laptop on the table beside him…problem solved. Doesn’t she look pleased with herself!!

posted by erin on Mar 4

Even though it’s still snow covered in our neck of the woods and even quite chilly, the sunsets are hinting at the arrival of spring. I love sitting on my porch and contemplating the beautifully unique creation each sunset is. It’s amazing how quickly they appear and disappear, how most of us never stop to really enjoy the painting in the sky. How you can turn around for your camera and a minute later it has changed. I, for one, am the type to pull my car over to watch until the colors have faded (not to mention it’s safer for the other people on the road, since I can’t seem to keep my eyes off the sky when it’s brilliant!). They leave me breathless and inspired, awed and deeply moved. I can’t help but feel close to God for just a few minutes every time I see one. So next time you see one, stop and enjoy the lovely artwork in the sky.

posted by erin on Mar 2

So I joined that there blogging party. The thing about it was to get to know new blogging pals in the blogosphere. There are so many interesting blogs out there and I’ve spent who know how long looking at a few (only a drop in the bucket of blogs!) and now my neck is stiff and my head hurts. I know I should be making supper, but oh, it would be so much nicer if all the great recipes on all the great blogs I just read would jump off my computer and make themselves! Wouldn’t that be great? You click on one and viola, supper. I mean it seems you can click on just about anything else. For example, you look at a list of fellow bloggers, click on a few and viola, friends…there’s something to it.

posted by erin on Mar 2

I guess the “Ultimate Blog Party” is officially off to a start. (If you don’t have a clue what I’m talking about, click on the link on the left with all the partying people on it, then sign up and join the fun!).

For those of you who don’t know me, welcome to my life. I’m Erin and I’m a stay at home mom of 2 wonderful little girls, Ella
and Aidan.

And I have a wonderful husband of almost 6 years. In the little free time I have I scrapbook, blog, read, and spend time with friends and family. I’m an Interior Decorator who aspires to become a Designer. In the meantime, I’ll keep building houses with my lovely husband and work out all the kinks in my style!

My blog started off as a place to post pictures of my kids (since they were central to who I thought I was) and has become a kind of medium for me to work through my life. I didn’t think writing was my strong point and was afraid to put my thoughts out there, but someone encouraged me and said that I wrote the way I spoke and they loved that. So I may not write very eloquently, but I’ve got things to say and I write it like I speak it. If you want, please stop by once in a while and say hi! Have fun partying with the bloggers. Can’t wait to meet you all.

posted by erin on Mar 1

You can go to meez.com and make yourself (or a version of). Lots of fun!
This is the me that can never be! Maybe one day…