Fully Alive…Ready to Smile

It has been a freakin’ rollercoaster ride these last couple weeks. In my head that is. We have this grand plan to build and flip houses until we are mortgage free. It’s also a grand pain in the neck. Most days I’m starting to think that maybe God’s trying to get our attention and tell us just sit back and relax and wait a bit longer. Why else is there all this turmoil surrounding the decision?

One day I’m all excited to move to a quieter street where there is only 10 houses instead of 60 and the next I’m enjoying a great day with my awesome neighbors and I’m sad that I’d have to leave them behind. One day I’m thinking how great it would be to have no mortgage, the next I’m thinking how much it will cost to build again (lawyer fees, higher property tax, penalties, etc). One day I’m thinking it would be great to design and decorate a new house, the next I’m wishing we could just settle and landscape, get a deck, put in a flowerbed. One day it’s all going smoothly, the next it feels like the world is falling down around our ears. It gives me a headache thinking about all the decisions. It feels like the perfect time for US because I’m not pregnant and our kids are a great age, but maybe it’s not the time God wants us to move. The whole Our timing vs. His timing is just so hard to figure out!!!! If it weren’t for this and if it weren’t for that we could just move and be done with it. Why does it seem so easy for some people to just up and move and not for others?

Charmaign said something to me on Friday that has been sitting in my head like a squatter that won’t move…”Plans can be changed”. I’m not a big fan of changing plans, but I guess it’s another area God is working on in me. I have to learn to be more flexible and more content. I have to remember that it’s not all about me, but rather look at the big picture. Sometimes when things don’t go my way or my speed, it may not be me that’s not ready for the change. It could be someone else that will be impacted by my decision. Only God sees the whole picture. If we learn to trust in His perfect plan and timing, if we don’t just leap into the first thing that sounds GRAND, if we wait on Him and listen to that small voice inside us, maybe we wouldn’t get so anxious and confused. Maybe we wouldn’t get ourselves into messes (Yeah, Erin, using the money in savings set aside for income tax for new carpet and now having to find another way to pay income tax and pay interest on it!!! Talk about jumping the gun!). I hate learning the hard way, trial by fire.

So I thought I’d seen some pretty funny things in my short time, but today would have pretty much topped it. I say “would have” because it all became clear as to what was actually happening while I watched.

I was sitting on my steps of my porch and I heard what sounded like a vacuum. Thinking nothing I looked up to where the sound was coming from. It was a house just down the street on the corner, but it faces away from us. Through the gap between their house and garage I saw the owner vacuuming…his driveway!!!! At least that’s what it looked like. I watched for a few moments shaking my head in bewilderment because I know there are people who are really picky about the cleanliness of their driveways (neighbor 2 doors down from us), but this went above and beyond picky…this is just plain neurotic!!!! I even called my neighbor Tara to come check it out because I couldn’t believe what I was seeing (maybe not one of my most shiny moments).

As we watched for a few moments, the guy suddenly picks up a mat and gives it a shake. Ahhhh!!! It’s all much clearer, he was vacuuming the mat which was lying on the driveway.

It’s interesting how we can see something from a distance and make a judgment or jump to a conclusion. We talk about it with other people and shake our head at the way people look, act or do things, but if we take a closer look and actually find out what’s really going on behind the scenes, we wouldn’t be so quick to laugh or judge. If we’d look at them through the eyes that God views us all in, we’d have more patience, more compassion. Not all things are as they appear on the surface. God has called us to “Love one another”, “Love our neighbor”, “Love our enemies”. Do you see a pattern? Yet what comes out of our mouths is usually anything but love. I know I’m guilty of it.

During my last 2 evening walks I’ve added in some jogging. I’ve never jogged. Ever. At least not very far anyway. It hurt my knees too much. But then I was informed that this is because I don’t have very much arch on my foot and my new shoes with arch support would help. So I’m going to test this theory. I found a “learn to jog” plan and I’m going to give it a shot. By the end of 8 weeks I should supposedly be able to jog 2 miles without stopping. So for my first week I’m supposed to do 4-5 intervals of walk 5 minutes, jog 30 seconds. This may sound like jack diddly squat to some of you, but let me tell you how hard 30 seconds is!!!

I also realized yesterday that I have this HUGE pride issue. I started one of my jogging intervals just after I’d turned onto a side street and I saw 2 people walking toward me. They were more than 30 seconds from passing me, so rather than stopping when my 30 seconds were up and look like a wimp…you got it, I kept going. I had to go for 1 minute and 11 seconds before they were out of sight. I was very, very tired and breathing like I’d just run a marathon. So maybe I’ll just put the pride aside and stick to the plan. Eventually I won’t be stopping. Just got to get there first. Slowly.

LAYER ONE:
– Name: Erin
– Birth date: October 11, 1980
– Birthplace: Winnipeg, Manitoba, Canada
– Current Location: Small town near Winnipeg
– Eye Color: Brown
– Hair Color: Dark Brown
-Height: 5? 7
– Righty or Lefty: Righty
– Zodiac Sign: Libra, but who really cares!

LAYER TWO:
– Your heritage: I believe my ancestors came from Russia and Holland.
– The shoes you wore today: Barefoot, all day!
– Your weakness: tortilla chips and ice cream/frozen yogurt/gelato
– Your fears: Any harm coming to my family, snakes (which we don’t even have here), heights
– Your perfect pizza: Hawaiian
– Goal you’d like to achieve: Learning to run

LAYER THREE:
-Your most overused phrase on AIM: Not on AIM
-Your first waking thoughts: Why is she crying/talking/singing? Can’t she just go back to sleep?
-Your most missed memory: certain friendships that have become distant
-Your best physical feature: eyes

LAYER FOUR:
– Pepsi or Coke: Pepsi
– McDonald’s or Burger King: McDonald’s, used to be Burger King until their fries got sucky!
– Adidas or Nike: Neither
– Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea: Either
-Chocolate or vanilla: Both, mmm…
-Cappuccino or coffee: Neither, don’t like the flavor

LAYER FIVE:
– Smoke: No
– Cuss: on occasion (but only mild words)
– Sing: Love to, wish I wasn’t afraid of anyone hearing me!
– Take a shower everyday: Mostly every other day
-Do you think you’ve been in love: Yes
– Want to go to college: Done, would like to do some more training in Design work though
– Liked high school: the social part of it : )
– Want to get married: Already married
– Believe in yourself: No, not nearly enough
– Get motion sickness: nope
– Think you’re attractive: sometimes, I was yesterday, LOL!
– Think you’re a health freak: kinda, not the kind who is worried about everything, just have some health issues that need taking care of and I’m trying my best to find the balance in life with that!
– Get along with your parent(s): Dad - yes, Mom - we have our good and bad days.
– Like thunderstorms: Love them (as long as I’m safe inside)
– Play an instrument: not one. Short fingers kept me from all pursuits (flute, guitar, piano…)

LAYER SIX: In the past month…
– Drank alcohol: yes, a long island iced tea
– Smoked: No
– Done a drug: No
– Made Out: No
– Gone on a date: No
– Gone to the mall?: Yes
– Eaten an entire box of Oreos?: No, just one Oreo yesterday
– Eaten sushi: No
– Been on stage: No
– Been dumped: No
– Gone skating: No
– Made homemade cookies: Yes
– Gone skinny dipping: No
– Dyed your hair: Yes
– Stolen Anything: No

LAYER SEVEN: Ever…
– Played a game that required removal of clothing: No
– Been trashed or extremely intoxicated: No
– Been caught “doing something”: um, I don’t think so…
– Been called a tease: No
– Gotten beaten up: Not physically, emotionally all the time, same with spiritually
– Shoplifted: No
– Changed who you were to fit in: Not necessarily changed who I was, maybe just hid it a little.

LAYER EIGHT:
– Age you hope to be married: Wanted to be married by 20, was, and still am to the same wonderful man.
– Numbers and Names of Children: 2 daughters, Ella and Aidan
– Describe your Dream Wedding: At the time ours was my dream, maybe now it would be different, smaller perhaps, more elegant.
– How do you want to die: when I’m old, in my sleep.
– Where you want to go to college: already did
– What do you want to be when you grow up: I don’t think I’ll ever grow up! If I do, that may be a sad day. Actually that’s not totally true, I tried to grow up and be more serious and that got really boring, so I went back to being my old self.
– What country would you most like to visit: I’d like to go back to Italy and England, I’ve always wanted to go to New Zealand and Australia, France, Spain, Scotland, etc., etc., can’t name one!

LAYER NINE:
– Number of drugs taken illegally: None
– Number of people I could trust with my life: There’s got to be at least 20
– Number of CDs that I own: too many to count.
– Number of piercings: had 6, but 2 are closed now due to infections.
– Number of tattoos: none
– Number of times my name has appeared in the newspaper?: 4 times, my birth announcement, my wedding announcement and our 2 daughters birth announcements.
– Number of scars on my body: 4 that I can see.
– Number of things in my past that I regret: a couple

I’m not tagging anyone for this one. I found it on Jen’s blog and decided to do it because I’m always up for a good meme. If you do decide to do it, let me know so I can come check it out!

Friday
~ having the afternoon all to myself to do whatever I want!
~ having a spur of the moment manicure/pedicure (I better not hear any snickering about my short fat toes!!)
~ buying myself a design book that has been on my wishlist for months
~ buying a new shirt that makes me feel hot
~ having supper with 9 of my closest friends

Saturday
~ spending the day cardmaking with good friends
~ eating lunch outside
~ cheesecake!
~ finding out that my neighbors take good care of my husband while I’m gone (feeding him…steak on Friday night and lunch on Saturday)

Sunday
~ feeling really great in the outfit I was wearing (I felt better than I’ve felt in months)
~ getting invited out for lunch after church
~ walking 4 miles (around my parents block - they live in the country and a block is 4 miles)
~ finally getting my wiener roast (I was sick last Sunday when we had planned to have one)
~ reading my new design book (Oh so good!!!!!)

(I just realized after reading over my post that I didn’t cook one meal this weekend…that’s definitely a highlight)

I was tagged a few days by Val to do this meme. So here it goes.

Three Things That Scare Me:
1. heights
2. snakes/worms and anything that resembles them
3. being the center of attention in a big crowd (speaking, singing, being put on the spot, etc.)

Three People Who Make Me Laugh:
1. Louise
2. My Uncle Doug
3. Aidan

Three Things I Love:
Aside from God/friends/family
1. books (reading them, having them, giving them…
2. being outside
3. doing a decorating project

Three Things I Hate:
1. the flu (I second Val on this one)
2. people mocking or belittling me
3. onions

Three Things I Don’t Understand:
1. why my house always feels like a hurricane went through it.
2. friendships that just end abruptly
3. why my birthday isn’t a national holiday

Three Things On My Desk:
1. computer
2. printer
3. paper

Three Things I’m Doing Right Now:
1. doing this mem
2. waiting for Janice to call so we can go for a walk
3. listening to the annoying ticking sound coming from my dishwasher as it’s drying the dishes.

Three Things I Want To Do Before I Die:
1. travel the world
2. be featured in a decorating magazine
3. see my great grandchildren

Three Things I Can Do:
1. pick things up with my feet and toes (Val and I have lots in common)
2. curl my tongue (I even took a picture to prove it)
3. sing along to just about every song I’ve ever heard

Three Things I Can’t Do:
1. push ups (not even one!)
2. drive standard (stick shift)
3. sing in front of anyone but Jer

Three Things I Think You Should Listen To:
1. God
2. William Joseph
3. when someone tells you are beautiful

Three Things You Should Never Listen To:
1. country music (sorry to all you country music lovers!)
2. someone else’s conversation when you know you shouldn’t
3. people who are always negative

Three Things I’d Like To Learn:
1. how to play guitar (but alas my fingers are so small)
2. how to run (planning to start soon)
3. another language (Spanish or Italian perhaps)

Three Favorite Foods:
1. My Grandma’s homemade perogies
2. tortillas and pitas with any kind of hot dip
3. manicotti

Three Shows I Watched As A Kid:
1. Sesame Street
2. Mr. Dressup (with Casey and Finnigan)
3. Full House

Three Things I Regret:
1. letting go of friendships too easily
2. getting a credit card!!!!
3. not spending more time with my brothers in the last few years

Okay I’m tagging Louise, and Cherrye and Dedee. Your turn!

Okay, you guys, I need a name. Apparently I’m supposed to have business cards for myself to have displayed in the showhome I’m working on and I don’t even have a name for my “business”. I’m not really too thrilled about using my full name (mennonite last names are so very prestigious sounding after all!). So I’m looking for suggestions. ERINteriors? Hee, hee!! No seriously…I’ve never had to do this, so it has to sound professional and say what service I’m providing. Let me know if anyone has any brilliant ideas…PLEASE!!!

…to put as a title that would do justice to yesterday’s concert! I have plenty of words in my head regarding everything.

For starters, when you pay for a ticket, you are paying to see the headliners, the main act, but yesterday’s opening act held his own. William Joseph was phenomenal!!!! I was absolutely blown away. You can click on that link and check him out (he’s also playing on my blog right now, yay!), but you actually have to see him play to know what I mean. He feels his music and it just pours out of the piano. I mean for goodness sake, he even laid down on his seat and crossed his arms over and played backwards! Hard to picture? Yeah, hard to believe in real, too! You can just see the music consumes him and it’s easy to get lost in it. And the combination of a grand piano and a drum kit was unbelievable. I was wishing over and over that Jer was there to witness it. I’ll definitely be watching for any tours he does on his own.

That’s when I leaned over to Elin and said, “You know Il Divo is amazing when this guy is the opener and they have to follow. He’s going to be a hard act to follow!”

But they stayed true to form and belted out their music. Who knew that amount of sound could come out of a person for real! Wow!!! It’s one thing to enjoy a great cd when you can tell that they are really that good, but I love watching live music. There is something so powerful about watching someone use their God-given gift to sing and play an instrument and do it superbly. It moves me in a way that almost nothing else does. It’s cool to see 4 men from a few different backgrounds all sing together and sound like they were always meant to sing together, but knowing that they could all in fact sing by themselves and still be truly incredible! What a talent.
And just when we despaired of ever seeing their faces because we were quite high up, they turned on the big screen and yes, they are in fact quite good looking.

A highlight of the evening was realizing that the age of majority there was like 55+. I’ve never seen so many excited white/grey haired people in my life. It was truly amazing. The last song during the encore, Il Divo sat on the edge of the stage and all the women in the front rows crowded around to shake hands with them and get autographs. Yes, you heard me, autographs…while they were singing! Too funny! And when the camera zoomed in on the people surrounding them, they were all older. Oh what fun!

All in all it was well worth Clint’s hard earned money! Thank you, Clint for buying Elin tickets for her birthday, and thank you Elin for picking me to come with you! I couldn’t have enjoyed myself more! And I got the William Joseph cd so now I can enjoy myself over and over again, I’m so excited it makes me want to flap my hands. (you should have seen my when I first got it, I was clutching it to my chest like a new found treasure…which it is…grinning from ear to ear! I love finding new music!). Sigh…

Okay everyone, it’s time to rally our support. Val over at Purple Valley also has a blog called Grandma’s Diary where she shares pages from her grandmothers actual diary from the 1940’s. It’s being nominated for a blogging award (Best Blog of All Time none the less!), but she needs our help to vote her up, up, up!!! So go here and register and put your vote in for Grandma and most importantly, go read this great blog. It’s so cool! She’s already at the top of page 2 of 53 pages of blogs being nominated. Very neat.

So according to the calendar and my ticker up above TODAY is Il Divo!!!! This is the day I’ve been looking forward to for 3 months! And the night before last I had to get the flu! What great timing. I’m feeling a ton better this morning, just really weak. I was flat on my back yesterday, trying not to lift a finger so as to get better faster for today.

Last night was kind of scary. I got home from my parent’s around 6:45 p.m. and I was shivering with chills. I took off my shoes and jacket and by the time I got upstairs to the bathroom I could hardly turn the water on. Here’s my most brilliant moment…I didn’t even think about fever…nope. So I ran a nice hot bath. We’re talking slow roasted to perfection! Well, I get into my nice hot bath, hoping to stop the shaking and it only gets worse! I’m shaking so bad now I don’t think I can even get out. I’m wanting to call Jer, but he’s in the basement bathing the girls. So I grit my teeth (careful not to bite my tongue with all the chattering) and haul out of the tub (and we have a large tub, it’s like doing hurdles). I run (more like stumble) still wet into my bed and get under the thickest, heaviest blanket I can find and curl up in the fetal position trying to stop the shaking. This whole episode lasted for half an hour. Jer finally comes upstairs and I tell him to go Google the recipe for an electrolyte drink (I’m thinking I’m getting dehydrated). I sip a little of that and then call Healthlinks and the nurses says I sound like I should be okay, but if the fever gets worse or my mouth gets really dry or I’m feeling dizzy I should go to emergency.

So I’m lying in bed taking my temperature like every 20 minutes and it’s going up, and up and up. That’s when I really started getting worried. My temperature was past the dangerous levels, but my skin wasn’t really hot and I wasn’t hallucinating or out of it. So Jer sponged me and I laid there and prayed. I took Tylenol and sat in a lukewarm bath. And prayed. Slowly…way too slowly my temperature went back down .1 degree at a time. I think I just got my internal temperature so hot in my bath that it took a really long time for it to go down. It wasn’t even a fever. I’m naturally a hotter person to begin with, so that doesn’t help. I finally went to bed at 10:15 and I slept really well. This morning I’m feeling a lot better, very weak, but way better than yesterday.

So Mommy’s going to come over and make me homemade chicken noodle soup and help me with the girls so that I can rest up for this evening’s outing. At least I can walk upright now for short periods of time and I don’t feel nauseated anymore. All steps in the right direction!

***UPDATE: I’m feeling way better!!!! We’re leaving for Il Divo in an hour and a quarter. Yay!!! Thanks for any prayers you may have sent!

(sung to the tune of the Christmas song “Do You See What I See”)
Do you see what I see?
A roofer, a roofer
Up on my garage
Oh what a happy daaaayyyyyy
Oh what a happy day!

Yes, folks, that is indeed my lovely brother bringing shingles that have been sitting on my driveway for 6 months up onto the roof!!! That is a sight to behold. Praise the Lord!!!

We interrupt the regular programming to make an announcement…

They have KitKat Blizzards at Dairy Queen…

‘nuf said!!!!

Yes that title is indeed me freaking out. Why? Because one of my dreams is coming true!!!! I’ve always wanted to “do” a showhome. For those of you who haven’t already figured it out, I’m an Interior Decorator (hopefully to get into design one day). I’ve done lots of stuff for friends and family and our own houses of course (all free of charge). But I told Jer one day last year that I would love, love, love to do a showhome one day. So as of today, I’m doing a showhome…picking all the paint, flooring, lighting, cabinet/counters, tile…all by moi! YAY!!!! And then they dropped the big one on me…IT’S GOING TO BE IN THE PARADE OF HOMES NEXT YEAR!!!!!! Talk about breaking out into a sweat. I can do this, I can do this, I can do this….
(this is me being nervous and sweating…a sweating emoticon…hee, hee)

When they called me yesterday to ask if I would be interested in meeting with them, I automatically wanted to tell them I couldn’t. They want to pay me to do what I love to do and suddenly I didn’t think I was good enough. I’m not good enough to get money for it. I totally undervalue my passion and gift. But I pepped myself up and I’m hoping the confidence will follow closely behind. So, wish me luck and if you have a spare prayer, please send it up for me. Pray that I will create something I can be proud of. I’m going to bust out into the world of decorating…look out HGTV, here I come…okay maybe that’s going a little overboard!