Fully Alive…Ready to Smile

My Dad finally came home today at noon. It kind of feels like I’ve been holding my breath and now I can breathe a bit easier. I know there are still things that will have to be worked through, not all of them easy, but it’s all in God’s hands and I’m not worried. We are going to go to my parents tonight and have a welcome home supper with the family. The girls are VERY excited!

I realize I haven’t updated much on my showhome project, but that’s because there hasn’t been much to update yet. It’s a long process of going back and forth with suppliers, pricing, making sure it all looks good together, changing it for some reason or other, pricing again, etc, etc. Today, the owner of the home came in from Calgary and we met at the house. It’s primed and waiting for casings to go up so that the painter can come in and finish.

I’ve been a little anxious the past few weeks because the budget seemed on the very low side and I was stressed out that I wouldn’t be able to make this 2200 sq ft home fit to standard for a showhome (not to mention one that’s going in the Parade of Homes!). But today during my meeting with Walter I was VERY encouraged!!! He gave me the go ahead to upgrade a few things which will make it so much better. I got the okay to put in some window coverings and decorative stuff, which I was pretty sure I wasn’t going to get (and what fun is an empty naked house?). So let’s just say that the pictures I’ll take when I’m done will be a lot nicer than what I thought I was going to be able to show you. I can’t wait. It should be more or less ready in the next month! Yay! It’s all going to come together in the next few weeks and now is when the fun really begins. I get to see all the ideas that have been formulating and rolling around in my head come to fruition and reality. So excited! I placed the lighting order today as well as the flooring. Tomorrow I go to pick the stone for the outside. All this in the middle of packing and preparing for our holidays (which start on Friday morning.)

On that note, today I made lasagne, manicotti, marinara sauce, banana chocolate chip muffins and cookies to bring to the lake. I figured the more I could make and freeze ahead of time the less cooking I have to do there. So now I just need to finish my grocery shopping, finish my laundry, pack and go. Relax. Finally. Sigh…

My Dad is coming home tomorrow (fingers crossed) if nothing else happens. I’m praying that all goes well and he can. It’s been a long four weeks. On Friday, July 20 he went to the Health Science Centre in Winnipeg to get the cyst drained that is somewhere by his pancreas. Following the procedure he was in LOTS of pain. He didn’t get in for a CT scan until the following Tuesday afternoon. The doctors got the results back on Wednesday late afternoon and suddenly they were in a panic because apparently there were some holes in his stomach and possibly his pancreas. I heard that these were caused by the procedure.

He had already been starting to eat and drink again and they took him off all food and drink (including no ice chips), put in a nasalgastric tube and IV to see if the holes would repair themselves by taking away anything that might aggravate them. They were going to wait 24-48 hours and then if the holes were not yet closed, they were going to do surgery. Well, 48 hours came and went and they decided to wait another 5 days and then do a dye test on Monday…today (send dye through his system and see if there are any places were it leaks out). But they changed their minds again and decided to let him start taking in clear fluids on Saturday to see how he handled that. He got to go off the morphine as the pain lessened and now he’s on Tylenol 3. So far he’s handling the fluids well. Today they were going to change the clear fluids to a little heavier fluids and see how that goes. He can integrate food back into his diet on his own, they are just waiting to make sure that everything is okay.

No dye test, no surgery, just waiting. Please pray that the holes are closed up and that this cyst wouldn’t flare up again (it will still have to be addressed in the future). We are leaving on Friday for our holidays at the lake and he is anxious to come. Pray that he is well while we are gone and that he recovers quickly and regains his strength (he is skin and bones right now). It’s been four weeks since he first went into the hospital and we are all ready for him to come home. It’s been a long summer already.

So Alexis tagged me (like 10 days ago…oops) and I’m supposed to answer these 5 questions and then make up 5 of my own and tag 5 people. I’m wondering why I do these things so late at night. But apparently I’m still “witty” at night…(thanks, Nadine)…although I don’t think I’m supposed to be witty in this meme…okay, whatever, here it goes.

1. If you were trapped on an island and could only take three things (and NOT people, laptops or cell phones) what would they be? Books (I’m counting the plural as one because I read too fast to only take one book, unless of course someone came and rescued me really, really quick…but that’s not being trapped now is it?), Deodorant (I’m assuming it’s a tropical island, cause I don’t want to be trapped on an island up in the Arctic Ocean or something dumb like that. Let’s make this worth our while and get a good tan!), and my pillow (although it’s a water pillow and if you’ve ever had one or felt one, it weighs a TON. I probably wouldn’t have even made it to the island if that was one of the things I take because I would have sunk. Seriously. I know Lindsay knows what I’m talking about. She used to use it as a weapon in highschool).

2. What is one goal in life you would like to achieve before dying? To be completely debt free and owe nothing to anybody. That sounds pretty exciting. After a meeting we had yesterday, that could be sometime in the next few years. I’m thinking before we’re 30…

3. What was the most exciting place you have ever traveled? Well it’s a toss up between Italy and London, England. One was because it was somewhere I’ve always wanted to go and the other is because it was with my best friend and we had such a blast, it was last minute and it was 3 months before my wedding. Here’s 3 pictures from that trip…

(Me talking to Jer in a red phone booth in Picadilly Circus)

(One of my favorite pictures I took in Oxford during our day trip…had I had a digital camera there would have been lots of favorites, unfortunately there are just a lot of blurry pictures.)

4. What is your dream car? It’s always been a VW Beetle. I think they are so darn cute. I suppose if I have more kids I’ll be dreaming about vans, but let’s not go there.

5. Do you believe in heaven and hell? Why or why not? Heaven!! Because I believe in a God who has promised me a place in Heaven with Him if I believe in Him…which I do.

Now apparently I’m to think of 5 questions and tag 5 of you…

My questions:
1. If you could live ANY one place in the world where would it be and why would you choose that destination?
2. Are you doing what you thought you’d be doing in life and if not, where did you think you’d be or what did you think you’d be doing at this time of your life?
3. Are you an optimist or a pessimist (for the most part)?
4. What would be your dream job?
5. And a fun one…if you were a paint color what would you be called (you know how paint has lots of fun/weird names)?

People I’m tagging:
1. Lindsay
2. Robin
3. Jen
4. Dedee
5. Ruth

Appetizer
Describe a toy you remember from your childhood. My kind-of-like-a-Barbie-but-not-really-one “Mindy.” She was my favorite. Until my little brother bit her foot off. She was a ballerina. Lost all her “ballerina-ishness” after that : )

Soup
On a scale of 1 to 10 (with 10 being highest) how observant are you? I’d say about an 8 on average. Depends what it is. If it’s your house…a 12, if it’s something else, maybe a 6-8.

Salad
Where would you rather be at this very moment? Considering it’s midnight…bed. If not there, at the lake. Which I will be in 8 days…yipee!!!

Main Course
When was the last time you learned something new? Almost everyday I learn something new. I have 2 little kids after all. They teach me new things all the time. Sometimes it’s about them, sometimes it’s about me, sometimes just about life : ) Learning and growing that’s the name of the parenting game and the game of life in general.

Dessert
Fill in the blank: I have ____________ but I haven’t ____________. I have eaten supper, but I haven’t cleaned off the table yet. Ha! Yeah, I know it’s midnight. I’m sure as heck not going to do it now. Unless it cleans itself, it will still be there in the morning. Sorry, no deep thought on that one tonight. Good night all and happy feasting!

Want to join the feasting fun? Go to Friday’s Feast.

I just wanted to wish David and Svea very BIG congratulations on the birth of their daughter Talia. She was born this morning at 9:45 weighing 7 lbs 11 oz. God bless you guys!

I was tagged over at Cherished Moments With My 2 Angels to do a meme. Apparently I’m supposed to tell you all 8 things about myself. I think it would be more fun if YOU told me 8 things about myself. Hee, hee. Oh well, here it goes…

The Rules: “Each person posts the rules before their list, then they list 8 things about themselves. At the end of the post, that person tags and links to 8 other people and then visits those peoples’ sites and comments letting them know that they have been tagged, and to come read the post, so they know what they have to do.”

1. I’m 5 foot 7 inches tall and I have the tiniest fingers and toes. It has caused much comic relief for lots of people. I’m glad I can give people something to laugh about. It’s one of the things I live for : ) They are so short that I have tried and failed at 3 different instruments…piano, flute and guitar. I can’t reach an octave on the piano, my pinky finger goes completely numb while playing flute (so much so that the entire side of my hand right into my arm goes numb) and I can’t reach around the neck of the guitar. I guess I’ll just have to stick to singing.

2. My readers who have been here for a while know this already, but for the rest of you, I’m allergic to sausage. Or more specifically, certain smokes used in some sausage. It makes me hiccup horribly. It took me a LONG TIME to figure that out. Talk about years of uncomfortable meal times.

3. I’m terribly afraid of the phone. I don’t mind answering it, but it’s like pulling teeth to get me to call almost anywhere, especially if I have to ask questions. I get terrible stage fright and stumble over my words. I like to talk to people in person so that I can see their face and see their reactions and body language.

4. I was diagnosed with Crohn’s Disease when I was 13. I had surgery when I was 14 because I was dying from a blockage in my intestines. I healed by nothing short of a miracle and walked out of the hospital 7 days after my surgery and have never had a relapse since, in 13 years, praise the Lord. And I have 13 inches less intestines than the rest of you, how cool is that? Okay, maybe not so cool, but whatever (and look at all the 13’s, very cool).

5. I’m a fish. Or maybe I should have been. I love water, I love to swim. I can’t wait till we go to the lake in 10 days and then I can swim whenever I want to. My parents neighbors have a pool and the people who lived there until 2 years ago let us swim whenever we wanted to because they didn’t have any kids living at home. We had the run of the place…pool parties, lounging there all summer. It was the life. Then they moved and I was sad. Still am. Especially today when it was 47 degrees celsius with the humidity (which translates into 116 degrees fahrenheit for all you who don’t know what celsius feels like). Yup, it was a scorcher. It was yesterday, too and it’s supposed to be all week. The kiddie pool is looking better and better all the time.

6. I love to bake. I don’t love to eat it all, but I will if it’s there, so I usually send the majority of whatever I bake to Jer’s work. They all adore me there : )

7. I had blond hair till I was 15. Very blond. Then I got it cut after my surgery and it grew out very dark. Go figure.

8. I have a fondness for details. I love to make lists, file stuff, fill out forms…which is perhaps why I like games like sudoku and crosswords because I find it so fun to fill in the little boxes and make sense of stuff. On the other hand, I’m not a very organized house person. I procrastinate on folding and putting away laundry, washing dishes, putting dishes away, cleaning up the kids stuff, etc. But it drives me nuts!!! I can’t stand the disarray and mess. I annoy myself with my laziness. Especially because a beautiful house is very important to me. Maybe one day I will learn how.

Now I have to tag 8 of you. So many to choose from…

1. Becky at Mills’ Memoirs
2. Tara at This is my Life
3. Bonnie at Can You Ever Go Home
4. Louise at Living Out Loud, Trying to Be Quiet
5. Jamie at My Turn
6. Val at Purple Valley
7. Tammi at Valleygirl
8. Corie at My Life as a Book

I’ve added a poll on my sidebar. Please go look at it and answer the question. Even if you don’t usually or ever comment on my blog but you come and read, even if it’s your first (and maybe last time here), please vote. It’s anonymous and doesn’t take more than 2 seconds. Thank you!

We just got home from a 30 hour “holiday” in Dauphin, Manitoba. I know, I know, how much fun can you have in Dauphin? What were we doing way up there? Well, that’s why I’m posting, now isn’t it?

Okay, so some background info. Jer got asked to play drums for Stephanie Nicole (aka: “Steph and the Duck” from CHVN Radio 95.1 fm our local Christian radio station). He’s friends with her brother Mike. Steph just recorded a cd and she was asked to play at this Christian music festival, Jesus ManiFest, in Dauphin this weekend. So, 3 weeks ago she put together a band consisting of her brother Mike on bass, Jer on drums, Mandy on Djembe (now also Mike’s girlfriend), Steph on vocals and keyboards and Steve on guitar. For only practicing together 3 times (twice with all members), they were GOOD!! Stephanie has an incredible voice and is seriously talented. It was scorching hot and there wasn’t a lot of people this year at the festival, but regardless, we had some serious fun!

Our trip began at 1:00 in the afternoon yesterday. Kids were with Granny and we escaped to our 30 hours of freedom : ) Yay!!! I’d love to say the trip was uneventful, but alas, it was not. About half way there, we heard a large KAPOW! and we both knew that we had some serious trouble. Our tire had blown out. Fortunately we were only a mile or two out of Gladstone (also known as “Happy Rock”). So Jer put on the spare and we hobbled our poor car back to the gas station only to find out that we had to drive 25 minutes to Neepawa where they had a tire store. Thankfully this happened while everything was still open, we weren’t in the middle of nowhere and Neepawa and the tire store were directly on our route to Dauphin. We got to said tire store where Jer inquired about a tire. The guy didn’t think he had any that would fit our car, but he’d go check. We were in luck, or maybe not so much luck as blessing, he had ONE. That’s all we needed and we were on our way, $99 later and an hour lost, but we had no schedule, so it was all good.

We saw some nice scenery on the way. For instance, this…probably one of the largest hills in Manitoba, lol : )Okay, maybe not the largest, but we are flatlanders so that was pretty exciting to drive up it! We drove around one of our many provincial parks, Riding Mountain (huh, mountain?) which is a large plateaued piece of land with forest and lakes on it. It’s the closest thing we have to mountains around here, so it’s cool. You can see the “Mountains” in the background of this picture.When we got to Dauphin we settled in our room (dropped our bags on the floor) and off we all went to Pizza Hut for supper. Then we decided to do what I’m assuming is about the only fun thing to do in Dauphin, go to Walmart : ) This is where I met my laughing buddy. I used to laugh uncontrollably. At the strangest things. In the last number of years things either haven’t been that funny, I’ve gotten too serious, or I’m not with anyone who has the same sense of humor or ability to laugh as I do. Well let’s just say that Mandy does. For some reason or other, everything was funny to us. The fact that we both laughed so much was funny. It set us off just thinking about how we laughed. The more she laughed, the higher her laugh would go and she’d squeak. I actually was crying from laughing so hard and both our cheeks were cramping from laughing. It felt really good. Here’s us laughing while Jer’s taking our picture. Not sure what was funny, but it was (and no, I’m not pregnant, my shirt was just being all weird).Perhaps it was seeing Mike and Jer together, which in and of itself was quite comedic.
Maybe it was that every time Mike opened his mouth something funny would come out. He’s even funny when he’s driving. On the way home he slowed right down to 30 Km/hr (they were in front of us) and we were wondering what he was doing. Suddenly this arm shoots out of the car and he’s taking a picture of us (or our car).

Anyway, here they are in concert (sorry they are so small, it was a pretty big stage and they were all over the place).One more kind of funny story. Being that Steph was a radio personality and she has a cd and she’s quite mature and VERY confident, I was under the impression that she was older than me. I got around to asking her right before we left how old she was. She says, “guess.” So I did. I was going to poll you all to see what you thought, but the picture doesn’t really take into account who she is or how she acts. So anyway, I said, “hmm, 29?” I was actually thinking 30, but you never know what’s going to insult people. Everyone started laughing. Huh? Nope. She’s 23. Well, she’s turning 24 on Wednesday. Jer and I both didn’t believe her. In fact, Jer asked to see her driver’s license, which she handed to him and we inspected. Yup, she was born in 1983. Maybe it’s because her life experience seems so far out there from mine that I just assumed she was older. She is a brilliant musician and a very, very sweet person. I am blessed to have gotten to know her a little bit and spend time with her.
So we made it home safe and sound, had lots of good laughs, played some awesome music, didn’t melt in the heat and I made 2 new friends. What a great thing to do on a weekend!

Oh yeah, I almost forgot. I couldn’t help but giggle when I saw this guy…

…but only half an hour before Friday as it’s almost midnight! We’ll start with last week’s because that’s the one that I saw first and I answered all the questions and then I went back to the Friday’s Feast site and it was a different one. So there, you are very lucky, you get double the fun and I get to answer double the questions and stay up way later than I intended…I’m doing this on Thursday and then going to publish it on Friday, but at the rate I’m going it could be midnight before I’m finished and then it will be Friday, and it IS Friday somewhere in the world, so I’ll just shut up now and start the feast! Bon Appetit!

Friday’s Feast 151 (last week’s)

Appetizer

What is your favorite fruit? Raspberries…always has been. Probably because we had a raspberry bush on our yard and I was the one who had to pick them. Made me appreciate their goodness after all the prickles and thorns I had to reach through to get at them, the scorching sun I had to pick in because I was too lazy to get up when my mom told me to so that I need not pick in the heat : ) You appreciate things that you’ve had to work for.

Soup

Who is someone you consider as a great role model? Kathy (or Hottie), who is technically my aunt, but feels like my sister. She is a person of strength and integrity, spirit and joy. Even when she is going through really hard times she still has enough in her to give to others and make them feel loved. She pushes through with a tenacity that I aspire to have. She says it like it is and doesn’t take crap from anyone. She will offer her helping hand in a heart beat, probably sometimes at great inconvenience to herself. She is beautiful.

(And we don’t look at ALL related…look right in the middle at the white space between our pictures for 30 seconds, you know, like those optical illusions and pretty soon you can’t tell us apart! Whoa, freaky! Hee, hee. My dad even confused us during his state of incoherency at the beginning of his hospital stay.)

Salad
If you were to spend one night anywhere within an hour of your home, where would you choose? Hmmm…a field? Does that count? There isn’t much an hour from my home. I think the beach is close to an hour…so that’s where I guess I’d go.

Main Course
Name something you do too often. Talk, lol.

Dessert
Fill in the blank: I really like spending time with Chris and Tara because they make me smile and are so generous and fun and…I don’t know…I just love them : )

And finally, today’s feast…

Friday’s Feast 152

Appetizer
On a scale of 1 to 10 (with 10 being highest) how much do enjoy watching sports on television? 0…I know that’s not one of the options, but definitely 0.

Soup
If you could completely memorize any one work of fiction, which one would you pick? I think I’ve read too many books to answer that, and I almost do memorize them because I can’t ever, EVER read a book twice. I remember details so vividly that it doesn’t hold any interest for me when I read it again…so I don’t.

Salad
What is your favorite breakfast food? Hmm…a few years ago I would have said “None!” Then I got pregnant and had to eat breakfast, so I forced myself to and now I have to have breakfast. I love fresh berries and yogurt separately or together in a smoothie, I also love eggs and hashbrowns (crispy, of course) with sausage and toast.

Main Course
Name something fun you can do for less than $10.00. A couple rounds of bowling. Always a good time! I suck…BADLY, but I have fun being horrible at it. It makes me feel good to let others feel good about themselves…very selfless feeling : ) Gives everyone else a good laugh, too. And then on the odd occasion that I get a strike (or sometimes two), everyone is SOOOO pumped for me that I feel like freakin’ celebrity ; )

Dessert
How long does it usually take you to fall asleep? Anywhere from 10 minutes to 2 hours. I usually lay awake and process my day…and quite possibly the following day. If I’ve had a good walk before bed and actually taken the time to think about stuff I fall asleep better. If not, I’m screwed.

I saw this sunset this evening and was going to try and take a mid-air picture of it from Tara’s trampoline in their backyard, instead I started jumping and having some fun. So I took a picture to prove it (that I was having fun that is…). Now I have a mid-air picture of me and just a regular picture of the sunset.

The girls love snuggling with Papa on his bed when we visit him.

My dad is doing pretty good. He still has bouts of nausea every so often. The doctor wants to schedule him in to see a specialist after our holidays in August to see if the cyst is still what’s bothering his stomach. I think if it’s still there, they are going to remove it.

He seems quite relaxed. His doctor is going to see him today and hopefully let him know when he can come home. Then we pray that the journey to healing will continue.
***Update: Now the doctor is trying to get him in to see a specialist at Health Science Center tomorrow. Pray that everything goes well and that they can help him with the stomach problems.

Jer and I got to go out on a date tonight. How refreshing it was! We went to see the movie Ratatouille which I must say was so fun. If you can get over the fact that they are RATS, it’s very cute…a little disgusting thinking about rats in a kitchen, but cute. I think the best part of seeing the movie was that it got Jer all fired up about cooking. Oh, that is a GOOD thing! Anyone who wants to get fired up about cooking is more than welcome in my kitchen. I love cooking, but I don’t always like cooking alone or thinking up WHAT to cook. A little input goes a long way. I’m sure some or all of you can relate.

So I put in my two cents. Since I love to cook and try new things, and he wants to cook, but in a fun way, why don’t WE set aside a night each week and try out a new recipe (an old one’s fine, too). After the girls are in bed we can prepare and eat a nice meal together. Kind of like a date, but in our own kitchen. Make it fun. Spend time together. It actually got him all excited and off to Chapters we went to find a new cookbook that we could use. We spent half an hour browsing through many, many different cookbooks. All very nice, lots with pretty, shiny pictures, some with recipes we couldn’t pronounce or wouldn’t eat. We didn’t have enough time to make a decision, so we’ll get back to that another time. In the meantime, we can use the cookbooks we have and the internet to start our new tradition. I said we should get the chef’s hats to make it even more fun : ) I don’t think he’d be opposed to it (he even talked about an apron, lol). So, I’ll let you know how it goes. Maybe I’ll have to start a weekly post about what we’re cooking and how it turned out, pictures and all. Are there any cookbooks that you guys find amazing, ones that you use lots of the recipes? Let me know.

Have a happy weekend.

Today was a most beautiful day! It was warm when the sun was out, there were just enough clouds to give relief every so often, there was no cloying humidity and a sweet breeze (so no bugs). I lay on our grass with a book, enjoying what I would consider a perfect afternoon.

When I looked up I saw this…

…and when I looked to the side I saw this! What perfect scenery to go with the perfect weather!

Another very AWESOME thing happened today! I spoke to Val in person…on the phone. Considering we both hate phones, it was very neat. It was so cool to put a voice to a face that I’ve seen on a blog and a personality I’ve already conjured up in my head based on her writing. I’m pretty sure it was the highlight of my week! I was so excited to talk to her that I was wishing she was here in person so I could hug her : )

She doesn’t have email or internet until Monday because they are busy painting their new house (sleeping there already, too, even though they don’t technically “move in” until this weekend). Because of this she hadn’t blogged or emailed in almost a week and it was funny, I missed her already and I was thinking about her during what has to be a very busy crazy, week. So I did what I would do with any of my friends…called her to see how she was doing. It was a natural reaction. And because we keep in touch online, we were able to chat about normal things because we already know what’s going on in each other’s lives. So cool! What a sweet moment with my dear sweet friend : )

I went out to my garden and picked the ingredients for my lunch (obviously not the bread!).One day the carrots will be from my garden, too, but until then, it was pretty fabulous. I finally got my bruschetta. It’s much more fun cooking when it’s food you’ve watched grow. Mmmm…

Today there was more good stuff. I made 12 jars of strawberry jam…my very first time ever making jam. It turned out quite nice.
Jer sold his drums which is going to pay for our income tax! No, no, don’t panic, I didn’t make him sell his only drum set…he had 2 and he sold the older one that he had fixed up for that purpose. I’ve been bugging him to get them sold because the taxman was going to be calling and so he listed them on Monday night on the Buy and Sell and they were sold 24 hours later. The guy came this afternoon and picked them up and we are that much closer to being out of debt! Yay!

Even though there was more unnecessary rain this afternoon and evening, there was another beautiful rainbow. Click on it to see a better image.
My dad is feeling better. The recovery is still a long journey ahead, but it’s coming. He’ll probably be in the hospital for another week or so. I’ve been very, very blessed by the outpouring of love, emails, phone calls and support. It’s been amazing to see family, friends and church body pull together and love on my family. Hopefully one day I can tell you all the story…until then, know that all prayers are being heard.

I hope you are all having a great week…full of goodness!

In my crazy world this weekend I found a few things that made me feel…happy! Today in church the message was designed for me, I’m positive. At least, that’s what it felt like. He talked about being thankful when you are in the middle of troubled times and problems. So here are the things I was thankful for this week.

*My centerpiece. Silly I know, but it made me happy. Every time I walked into my dining room it made me smile. A leaf broke off my cana lily plant and instead of throwing it away I made it useful.

*The beautiful flower that Svea brought me. It reminds me everytime I look at it that there are people praying for my family and supporting and loving us. Thank you!
*My basil and parsley that are ready to cut, the oregano that’s on it’s way, and the tomato from MY garden that is almost ripe. Pretty soon I’ll have all the ingredients freshly grown by ME to make bruschetta. Mmmm….
*The sunset that graced our sky this evening.

*My feet enjoying our new grass. It’s so soft. I feel like going outside and just lying on it with a book.

So even if the odds were rather stacked against me this week in the “happiness” department, there are still things that remind me of life’s little joys. What made you happy this weekend?

Oh yeah baby! Check out the sidebar…I reached my goal!!

Yesterday on the way to the hospital to visit my dad I had this song playing (the one playing on my mp3 player on the sidebar right now) over and over again. I needed the strength to face this situation and up until that point I was just a blubbering, weepy mess. I just prayed for God to pour His peace over me. He miraculously gave me what I needed to be there and sit there and be still. I was reminded that He is the Refiner and Purifier of Silver and He’s holding me and my family as we are in the middle of the fire right now. If you have a moment, sit back, close your eyes and let His peace wash over you. With Him, you CAN face what today holds, I CAN face today…

I’m finding myself
At a loss for words
And the funny thing is
It’s okay

The last thing i need
Is to be heard
But to hear
What you would say

Word of God speak
Would you pour out like rain
Washing my eyes to see
Your majesty

To be still and know
That you’re in this place
Please let me stay and rest
In your holiness
Word of God speak

I’m finding myself
In the midst of you
Beyond the music
Beyond the noise

All that I need
Is to be with you
To be quiet
And hear your voice

Thank you all for your prayers and words of encouragement. I’d really appreciate if in the coming weeks you would send up prayers for us if you remember. I think we’re in for a long road ahead, but the doctors are helping him on the road to recovery. I’ve learned new things in the last 19 hours and I feel very emotionally raw right now. That’s all I feel at liberty to say right now and I’ll email those of you who need to know more, if only so I have somebody to talk to and people who can pray specifically. You guys are my rocks!

My dad is in the hospital again today. It sucks! I don’t even know where to start.

He had cancer 4 years ago. He came out of the hospital after having surgery (on his tongue) to remove the cancer. He went back in a week later because the place where they had to crack his jaw to get at the tongue was broken and just hanging there (this all happened the week I had Ella).

Then a year and a half later he was hallucinating one night and they brought him to the hospital again and this time he had pneumonia. Another 7 months after that, back in the hospital he went (this time I was having Aidan) because of a cyst close to his pancreas. It was making him very sick all the time because it was blocking off ducts leading to his digestive system, thus making him feel nauseated every few weeks. They didn’t do anything about the cyst saying that it COULD go away. He ended up back in when Aidan was 10 days old and he was in for a while. They gave him a nasalgastric tube and he wasn’t allowed to eat for like a month or more to take the pressure of his digestive system and give the cyst a chance to shrink. Which it did. To 10% of it’s size. He was great for quite a long time, seemingly feeling healthy.

Lately I’ve been noticing more bouts of the nausea. I didn’t think it was more than every month or two again, but he says it’s more like every couple weeks, just not always bad enough than anyone would notice. This weekend he had a bit of bad run of it and yesterday landed up in the emergency because he was having breathing issues. They ran some blood work, did a few tests and released him like an hour later. He was NOT normal when he came home. He did some things that were just not like him. This morning my mom called from the hospital again and said that he’s back. He was hallucinating all night and saying he was going to go to work in the middle of the night. She wasn’t sure if it was the medication they put him on yesterday causing the hallucinations. He doesn’t have a very good history of reaction to medication.

So please pray that he’s okay. That the doctors can figure out what’s causing all this crap and actually do something about it. Pray for peace for my mom and the rest of us. Pray…please. I feel like I’m just barely holding it together…and I have to babysit all day. I need grace and patience, I’m already starting to snap at the little things…