Fully Alive…Ready to Smile

Okay, this post isn’t actually about that, but I guess it could be.  Dad didn’t get out of recovery until 6:30 a.m. when they took him to his room.  By that point they had managed to get the pain under control and he had settled down a bit.  Contrary to what was first expected, they did not have to replace jaw bone with shin bone (yay), but he did have some teeth removed and part of his tongue replaced with tissue from his leg.  He was communicating quite a bit today by way of pen and paper and even though he was dozing in and out a lot, he was coherent.  By this evening, though, he was getting a little more agitated I suppose because of the pain.  The nurse who came to talk to my mom said that they see a lot of these surgeries through that ward and in comparison to a lot of them he was doing really well.  So that was comforting.  His tongue was nice and pink and the blood was flowing through where they had reconnected the new tissue.  They say he’s on his way to a good recovery.  This is all very good news.  My mom said that there hasn’t been a doctor in to see them yet so she still doesn’t know all the gory details.  Hopefully each day will continue to improve.

I know spilled milk is not something we’re supposed to get uptight about, but when it happens 3 times in the same day by the same child…uptight doesn’t really describe my attitude!!

Well, my dad made it through a long and harrowing surgery.  He’s in lots of pain, feeling quite panicky and apparently his face looks awful.  The surgery took less time than they first predicted which is a good thing.  He was put under at 7:30 this morning and he was in recovery by 5:00 p.m.  The surgeon had figured it would take till at least 6:00 p.m., so this was good.  My mom was not in a very good state when I talked to her a little while ago, mostly I think from the shock of seeing post surgery swelling and bruising and what not.  She was only allowed 10 minutes with him in the recovery room and that was more than enough right now.  She decided to come home and get some rest, as this first night he’ll be so heavily medicated he won’t remember if she’s not there anyway.  I think this is probably for the best since the toll of the long day has just been too much on her and she’s a little traumatized.  Hopefully her outlook will be better once she gets some sleep.

Please keep my dad in your prayers for a quick recovery with no complications.  Also that the pain will subside and that he’ll be able to rest and relax.  I’m sure I’ll have more specific prayer requests as the days go on and we see the progress.  Thank you for all your lovely comments and support in the last few days.  It’s been a balm to my heart!

I’ve been avoiding the subject like the plague.  Maybe I’m in denial.  Maybe I’ve got a lot of faith (one can only hope).  Maybe it’s just is too much to talk about.  Maybe I’m still just a little girl who thinks her daddy is invincible.

My dad is going in for surgery on Monday (Oct. 29) to remove the cancer on his jaw/tongue.  He had cancer on his tongue 4 1/2 years ago and they removed a quarter of his tongue then and replaced it with tissue from his thigh.  It was a traumatic time (his surgery was the day I was due with Ella and he didn’t come home until after she was born).  The face of my father has changed.  He used to be an amazing singer and since his surgery will not sing…not that he can’t, I think he just won’t because it’s hard to sing and even talk around a tongue that is numb.  This is very painful for me because my dad’s beautiful voice has always been something I’ve been proud of and my daughters will never get to know that.  But in exchange for this he is alive.  I still have my dad.

Now we face this road again.  This time they have to remove part of his jaw on the right side of his face and the bottom teeth on that side.  They will replace the jawbone with bone from his shin and then he’ll have to go to Edmonton at some point to get new teeth.

Not to mention the removing of the cancer.  It’s such a scary word that carries all kinds of connotations with it.  The little demons that follow it around and try and get in my head and heart.  I will not let them.  I’m trying with all my might to not think about it.  Not because I’m denying it, but because there is nothing I can do.  Worrying changes nothing.  Faith changes everything.  I will believe that God is bigger than this and that He has my dad in his care.  I choose to believe in something bigger than me, than cancer.  I choose because I know the power of prayer and healing.  I choose because I have no other choice.  Well, I have one other choice, fear, but I won’t choose that.

I’m hoping that this journey will be easier on him and us because there is no alcohol involved this time (he was in withdrawal last time he had surgery and it was pure hell…I didn’t know this, I was told it was combinations of drugs and complications of surgery).  Hopefully the healing process will be quicker because of his body being better able to handle it.

Please pray for my dad.  Please.

 Okay so I’ve been ready to explode for like a month already because I’M GOING TO SEE MICHAEL BUBLE!!!!! (Yeah, yeah, I know this has been a crazy year for awesome concerts…can’t get enough). I haven’t been able to talk about this blessed event because we were TRYING to keep it from my cousin Elin (Clint bought her tickets as a surprise), but someone put a countdown on their Facebook account (which she found). She called me to personally tell me that I could blog about it (she knew I was dying to). We’re going with Clint and Elin to the concert and Darrell and Kathy and Kevin and Charmaign are sitting in the same row just a few seats over from us. Yay!!!! I’m pretty excited…okay I’m more than excited.

Do you think it would be like having a shoe affair if I wore my “Josh Shoes” to see Michael? Just wondering…

Here are a few links to get to my pictures from my trip to Illinois…

Halloween Party

My Photo Shoot (pictures by Val)

Miscellaneous pictures of my trip

Really neat houses

When you get to the photo albums click on the first picture it will bring them up individually and show my comments beside a lot of them, then you can flip through them one at a time and they are a bit bigger. Enjoy and you can comment here to let me know what you think…if you have anything to say, that is.

Well I must say that my trip to visit Val was amazing. It was all I hoped it would be and I’m very, very sad that she lives way out there and not closer to me (I cried as I was walking up to the security check-in at the airport). I didn’t want to say “good-bye” because that sounded so final and over. I guess it just means we’ll be doing a bit of traveling in the future to visit back and forth, right Val?

We had a great time getting to know each other in person, hosting a halloween party, shopping, going out to eat, pictures, more visiting, laughing, blogging, and just being together. She is so fun and so sweet and even though I know it was a very, very busy weekend for her, she was a great hostess. Her family is so great and I felt very at home and comfortable there. She showed me lots of the beautiful homes around her town and the city where she used to live (the architecture is amazing), I saw where she and Neil grew up, I got to shop at a few of her favorite stores (yay Von Maur and It’s a Girl Thing), meet some of their family, and ate at a few of their favorite restaurants (sorry Alexis!). It was relaxing and busy at the same time. It was nice to be without my kids for 5 days and just blend in with her life.

We discovered more and more similarities the longer I was there and a few differences, the biggest being she drinks coffee and I don’t! I can’t even begin to explain how it felt to get off a plane in a place I’d never been, waiting to stay with and meet people I’d never met. And then Val walked through the airport doors and it was like seeing an old friend after a long absence. I was overwhelmed with how we just fell into a comfortable rhythm. I kept doing double takes when she’d walk into a room because I was so amazed that she was really in the same place as me, breathing the same air and not just a picture on her blog or words I was reading. I had a picture of this sweet, bubbly, wonderful girl in my head and she was even better. She’s an awesome mama to her two sweet kids, a wonderful photographer, a gracious hostess, and now I can call her my dear friend…”my Val!”

I stole some pictures from her and I have some of my own and there’s a few more from our photo shoot. Here’s just a couple highlights (click to make bigger) and I’m putting all my pictures on Facebook, links to come.

Some halloween pics…

Me and “My Val”

More of the lovely shots by Val that she took at Allerton Park.

…through Val’s eyes. Kind of. We had a fabulous time at the park (even though she missed photographing her friend’s birth because I was there, sorry Lindsay!). The scenery was like something out of a Jane Austen novel and I was wishing I had a big dress on. Maybe next time. I was SOOO nervous because I get really dorky and self conscious whenever anyone takes pictures of me. It’s so hard to be natural. She did a fabulous job of making me feel comfortable and I think they turned out great. So here’s a sneak peek of a couple (she’s going to send the rest to me on a disc once she’s done with them and then I’ll post the rest…and if you click on them they are clearer).

Okay, so Val has posted the pictures from Noah and Maia’s birthday party and the halloween party on her flickr account.   When I get home I’ll post some of my favorites on my blog for you all to see.  If you don’t want to wait, you can go check them all out over at her blog.

We’re off for a photoshoot at the park…yes, of me.  Isn’t that great?  She wants to take pictures of me.  I’m not sure why, but it is exciting because I’ve never had nice pictures taken of me professionally except for our wedding and my graduation.  So we’ll see what happens.

Val threw one amazingly awesome pearty with a little help from her friends : ) Pretty much every single person dressed up and there were some pretty fantastic costumes at this amazingly awesome party  (there were even some famous people there!). I know y’all wanna see these fabulous, fantastic pictures that the scrumdidillyumptious Val took of her amazingly awesome party…so here’s the deal. She ain’t posting a single picture…NOT.ONE.SINGLE.PICTURE…until someone comments on her blog. And not just me commenting on her blog from her computer, either. So git. Go. Comment. NOW!!! Oh, and leave one here too while you’re at it so that I know you all love me too : ) Pretty Please? Then we’ll pay back the favor and post some fun pictures for your enjoyment. “We’re bringin’ sexy back…ya…”

Okay, so here I am in lovely Illinois visiting an even lovelier Val : ) She’s sweeter than her blog give her credit for and yes, we can in fact be friends (or perhaps long lost sisters). It’s rather uncanny how similiar we are, and the similarities just keep appearing (even weirder how alike our husbands are).

(here we are after 2 LARGE glasses of wine, 7 pictures hung, 10 bones buried, 1 spinach dip made, lots of candy corn eaten and some wheat decorating…you can click on us to see how awesome we are larger than life).

I went to bed last night at 10:00 like a good girl. I was so excited that I couldn’t fall asleep until 1:00 which is not necessarily a good thing when you have to be up at 3:30, which I was. Then it was off to the airport for a 6:20 flight where I spent the next 56 minutes squished between two old men…awesome, I know! No sleep on that flight.

Against my mom’s better judgement I wore my Josh shoes to travel (in case you forget, they are 4 1/2″ heels). I had looked at a map of the Minneapolis airport so that I would better be able to figure out where I was going and it didn’t look THAT big. No problem for Josh shoes! Then I got to the airport. It was a looooonnnnnggggg walk. Many miles travelled in those shoes…but I looked good : ) (in case you didn’t really know, I’m only pretend vain so that I can make myself feel better).

Then it was off on another plane ride to Indianapolis where Val was waiting for me and it was like we just hadn’t seen each other in a long time. So comfortable and natural. We, needless to say, haven’t really stopped talking for the last 9 hours. I’m not even exhausted…that could be the wine, though. Her kids are great…Maia stared at me for the entire 2 hour car ride from the airport and then when we got to the grocery store and got out of the van suddenly there was a little warm hand in mine. I guess I passed the test : ) I love her to pieces. Noah’s still not sure about me, but he’s warming up to me and I got a few smiles…what a doll. I feel an affinity with Neil as he has the head shake down pat (not just for me, Val gets them too, so there!) and he’s so like Jer in so many ways (same height, same kind of personality).

We’re slowly working down the list of things to do to get ready for tomorrow’s party, so I should go get back to helping her and not sitting here talking to all you out there. Just wanted to let you all know that she’s not a 60 year old man and I’m quite safe and sound. More on our awesome advetures at a later date…

I just have to give a MAJOR shout-out to Andrea who is challenging herself to give up Pepsi for 2 weeks.   She’s half way there and she hasn’t cheated.  That’s AWESOME!  She has also challenged anyone who wants to join her for the last week to give up something for a week.  Anything…pop, chips, sweets, fast food, sugar, whatever it is that you overindulge in.  I’ve decided to join her (a week late) when I get back from my trip.  I will officially give up sugar for a week…October 24-31 (no Halloween candy for me).  Go give her some love and maybe join the challenge…

…I remember that I’m leaving in 15 1/2 hours for the airport!  I’ve been having one of those days.  My kids are not getting along, not being obedient, being WAY too loud and my head hurts, I think I annoyed someone, I burnt my lunch, I haven’t even started packing because I can’t seem to figure out if I’m coming or going, and my house looks like a bomb went off because I haven’t been able to do much this week on a bad knee.  Not to mention that because of said knee I’m going half speed (babying it so that it’s okay for the weekend).  I see all the things that are supposed to go in my suitcase and I feel a wee bit worried about getting it all to fit, but it’s not enough to warrant a huge suitcase, so I’m going to try.   None of the above has discouraged me about my trip,  au contraire…I’m clawing at the front door like a caged beast ready to evacuate the premises.  I’M COMING VAL…

Okay, I’m not sure which is funnier that she’s dancing or that she looks like someone I used to work with and she’s dancing : )

This is why we need to teach our children what reasons are GOOD reasons to call 911! : )

And this made me smile AND cry (thanks Janelle for bringing it to our attention). What an amazingly inspiring moment!  Here’s his official website…brilliant.

Okay, so I asked you the bloggy viewers to help me with an idea for my halloween costume for Val’s party…thank you to those of you who made suggestions, except Clint, you still suck : )  I got 2 ideas that I seriously considered, the first being Tara’s “Scarlett O’Hara” dress and the second being “Cleopatra” as voted for on Facebook by Felicia.  Both were top notch ideas!  The Scarlett O’Hara idea was forfeited basically because of the amount of space in luggage (if I was partying close to home, it would have been a shoe-in).  The Cleopatra idea was only a no because it was going to cost me too much to put it all together and I just didn’t have the time or money at this late date in the game.  So I’ve come up with my idea (based on supplies on hand and accessories found in short order).  I guess you’re all just going to have to wait and see how it turns out, won’t you?  I’m sure Val will take some great pictures ; )  Stay tuned…

I’m a dreamer. I often wake up from a long night and feel not at all rested because I’ve been so busy in my dreams. I sometimes feel more tired than when I went to bed because there was no repose. I’ll decorate, I’ll design, I’ll run, I’ll have conversations with people that turn out splendidly…I’ll have all the right words and they have all the right responses. I play out things in my dreams that I would like to have happen. I say things that I’m way too scared to say in real life, but I’m SO brave and awesome in my dreams. I wake up feeling very accomplished, very confident, sometimes a little confused that real life isn’t quite as straight forward as my dream life. I forget that people haven’t actually said something to me and so I have to be careful what I say. I have memories that are not real memories. They are…dreamories.

Have you ever had a dream that you remember EVERY vivid detail? You wake up and feel like you were actually doing what you dreamed? And if it’s a somewhat, shall we say, embarrassing dream, you actually hope you don’t see whomever was in your dream anytime soon…until you remember that they were not ACTUALLY there, they can’t read your thoughts and then you can wipe the stupid, sheepish grin off your face, take a deep breath and hope your cheeks will stop burning. Then there’s the times you can’t focus on anything else because you feel like you’re forgetting something very important even though it didn’t and won’t happen. Or the dream that’s just on the edge of your mind and you feel like if you think long and hard enough you will remember.  It’s more of a feeling rather than a memory.

This, my friends, is my life on a fairly regular basis. Probably why I’m not a morning person. I’m in an alternate reality for the first couple hours : )

I’m getting more excited by the hour. We’re down to the last couple days before my trip to visit my sweet friend Val! I’m trying to help her with some party planning from here (she’s having a big halloween/housewarming party the day after I get there). It’s going to be so much fun! I get to dress up for this party…should be interesting since I haven’t put a halloween costume together for myself for 10 years. I had a couple of ideas, but it will depend on what I find for costume pieces. Anyone have any fabulous ideas for me? Please, give me some and who knows maybe I’ll use one of them. I’d be forever indebted to you! Let’s make it a contest to see who has the best idea. I’ll even have a prize. You know you all love prizes. They have to be serious ideas that I could actually pull off. You’ve got 24 hours. Giddyup!

Today has been THE WORST eating day ever.  EVER!!  We’re talking McDonald’s for lunch, cheesecake for mid afternoon snack, throw in a few ketchup chips to top it off.  I’m thinking a few digestive enzymes might be a good idea so that I don’t become the Good Year blimp!  I don’t think one single vegetable or fruit made an appearance.  Thank goodness it’s only 3:00 because I can redeem myself (hopefully) although I did hear something about being invited to our neighbor’s for lasagne and raspberry cheesecake…I guess tomorrow is another new day.  And I was my thinnest ever this weekend.  It was nice while it lasted.  All 2 days of it.

Take the freakin’ goatee off my blog girl!!!! NOW!!!!

_{Just a thought…NEVER put bad pictures of people on your blog when they have administrative rights on it. Or better yet, don’t give them any rights!!!}

Note: It’s been taken care of, but just in case anyone missed the lovely artwork you can go HERE to see it.