posted by erin on Nov 8
My two-year old daughter is talking a lot these days. Sometimes what she says is pretty hilarious.
For example:
Aidan lifts up her shirt the other day and points to her nipples…
“Mommy, these my hello kitties!”
Huh?
Archive for November, 2007
posted by erin on Nov 7
I decided to start introducing you to the lovelies on my blogroll today. I posted yesterday about how I want to feature one blogger that I have on my blogroll every week (hopefully, but there may be a little down time while we’re in between houses). I want to explain why I read the blogs I do. Who are these amazing people? What do they have to offer? Why should YOU go read them if you haven’t already done so? Questions I will attempt to answer. I wasn’t sure how to proceed without offending anyone, so I decided to start from the top and work my way down. So without further ado, I present to you my first buddy…
RUTH from “It’s true”, sighed roo. If you’ve ever ready any of her posts (like this one, or this one), you’ll know why she is on my blogroll. This is one special woman. I am incredibly honored to know Ruth in real life. And let me tell you, she is even more beautiful in person…she just exudes this awesome energy and vitality that you know comes naturally and supernaturally. She has such a heart for Jesus and is passionate to show that heart to others. When she writes, she goes deep. She makes you think. She makes you ponder. I love how she sees things with such clarity and vision. How she sees the side of an ordinary situation that most people wouldn’t see. She can turn absolutely ANYTHING into a teaching moment. And teach me she has. I thank you, Ruth, for your nuggets of wisdom, your sweet comments, your soft heart and your friendship above all. You are a queen among women!
posted by erin on Nov 6
I took the pictures off my walls this afternoon and for some reason that was the saddest thing for me. It stripped the personality out of my house. Suddenly it felt like we were no longer at home. What a weird feeling. This is going to be a hard move for me. This is the first house we’ve lived in during our marriage that I’ve truly felt “at home.” I became attached. Very attached. I put a lot of heart into the decorating and getting settled. Now it’s 4 days till we won’t live here anymore and it’s very sad. As excited as I am about building our new house, I’m feeling really emotional about leaving. Luckily I adapt easily and quickly. I’m sure even though I said I won’t get attached to the next house because it’s just a flip house I will be very attached by the time we move in. Even though we don’t plan to live there more than a year, I’ll still put my heart into decorating it and making it home. That’s just an intrinsic part of who I am.
My dad is doing really good. They took one of the drain tubes off of one of the surgery sites. One less tube which I’m sure is always welcome. He’s in good spirits and I’m sure starting to get restless. I think they’ll keep him there at least another week.
I’ve decided to start a new thing on my blog. Each week (or two if I forget) I’m going to feature one blog…give a little linky love…and explain WHY they happen to be on my blogroll. It’s a way to introduce you to the people who make me smile every week. Then I’m going to encourage you, if you haven’t already done so, to go check them out and say hi. I love having new people over here and so I’m sure they appreciate the same.
On that note, I’m not sure what kind of internet service I will have at my parents as they have none right now. We are going to try and get something hooked up less I wither up and die from withdrawal. I seriously don’t think I can last without checking my email 8 gazillion times a day or checking all your blogs to keep myself sane whilst living with my parents again. No one should ever have to live with their parents again…a third time…hopefully NEVER again. Love you, mom! (Just in case she decides to read this…)
In the horrific and almost unspeakable event that I have no internet connection for a period of time and seem to disappear off the face of the earth/internet, never fear, I will find a way. I may have to travel to blog, but I will. I know of a few people within a very small radius of my parents house that I’m sure will let me come use their computers, especially if I bring them baking : )
posted by erin on Nov 4
Where to begin…maybe with the more recent stuff. Jer and I took the girls and we went to visit my dad today. This was the first time I’d seen him since his surgery. I wasn’t terribly prepared for the way he looked and it took the girls quite a bit longer to adjust to it. The right side of his face (if you’re facing him) is so swollen that it looks like he has a grapefruit in his cheek…impossible, I know, but I kid you not and I exaggerate not one bit. His bottom lip is swollen and so is his tongue and the result is his tongue protruding out of his mouth, resting just on the inner part of his lip. And apparently he looks quite good already. I’m actually glad I didn’t go any sooner because I think this was hard enough. I’m sorry if this gets too graphic, please skip to the next paragraph if you are queasy. He has a stitched up scar leading from the center of his lower lip that goes down his chin and curves under his jaw line up behind his ear They had to do the same procedure that they did 4 years ago where they cut the face open and break the jaw to get to the tongue. It’s basically like peeling the face back. Gruesome, I know. Thus the massive swelling. He’s a real trooper though.
The doctor took him off the morphine yesterday so that he could stop being so drowsy and slightly loopy : ) That stuff is so harsh. They put him on Tylenol 3 and when we got there today my mom said he was doing really good today. It looked like he was in high spirits and he seemed so happy to see the girls. By the end of our visit the girls were a lot more comfortable and going to stand by the bed and talk at him (he can’t talk yet). He wrote them a sweet little note that my mom read to them…
“Aidan and Ella, your papa sure loves you very much! I’m glad that you guys came to visit me at the hospital. I’ll be better in a few weeks, but just because I look silly I’m glad you came anyway. I think Granny might have some money in her purse for some treats for you guys. A good treat for papa right now would be to take you to C&G’s for treats!”
I was sitting there trying not to cry, but it was so tender. He even made quite the silly display of turning on the weather channel on the tv so there was music and doing this little dance with his hands and feet. The girls giggled and it helped them feel a lot more at ease. My mom was quite impressed with the show of energy since he hasn’t been doing much. The doctors gave him 2 bags of blood yesterday to get his hemoglobin up (it was down to 68, normal is over 120) and I’m sure his strength will improve greatly from that. Thank you for all your encouraging comments and prayers. It’s obviously all the prayer surrounding him and my family that is making this process smooth.
On a totally different emotional note, this Friday and Saturday Jer and I attended a marriage seminar hosted by a bunch of the churches in our town. I was looking forward to it prior to the sessions and the longer the sessions went on the more uncomfortable I got. NOT because it wasn’t any good. Because it was VERY GOOD and it was hitting some really hard places in my heart. I felt like God was speaking to me on one issue in particular and it was really hard to humble myself and be honest. So I didn’t. I just got colder and colder and more and more disconnected the further into the day we got. I was building a wall around myself and my heart so that I wouldn’t break down or lose control. I was feeling convicted and I didn’t want to face it. At the end of the seminar we had to renew vows to each other. I have to admit that I felt nothing. I was so far removed from the whole thing that I had a hard time forcing the words out. I prayed that God would help me to say them and then connect the words to my heart and soften me so that what I spoke would become reality. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying that we’ve been having problems in our marriage. I was dealing with a very personal issue, but as with anything when two are involved it seeps into our relationship. God started working on me and I pray that he continues to work on my heart and mind in this area. It’s hard when you don’t really WANT to change. When you don’t want to let go. But I know I need to. I know I HAVE to. I was able to share a little bit of my heart with Jer last night and that is what started the stripping back and baring of my soul to myself. To start seeing the truth in the lies I’ve been telling myself. It was only the tip of the iceberg, but I’ve started a journal between me and God to try and wrestle through this…to be completely honest and naked before God and myself, which I can hardly do. I’ve come to realize that as much as I HATE seeing myself physically naked in the mirror, I hate seeing my spirit and soul bared even more.
I’m not an advocate for dumping personal garbage into the blogging world and that isn’t what I’m trying to do here. I’m trying to be vulnerable and accountable. I’m trying to see my way through this and sometimes talking about or writing it down really helps. I truly am a work in progress. I have many miles to go. This is just another step in my journey. My husband read this post before I published it and he gave me his blessing to share this with you all. Please hold me in your prayers.
posted by erin on Nov 2
Yep. That’s me. Not on purpose and thank the Lord Almighty not IN my house : ) But I’m ahead of myself…let me set the stage for this morning’s horrific events…
This morning, after I blearily fell down my basement stair (yes, stair, singular) and slipped on the “non-slip” bathmat in my tub (banging the same knee) I went to the back door to put some garbage in the garbage can that stands beside our stairs. What I was throwing away was actually a box with lots of papers in it and very heavy. I lean over the railing with the box poised mid air when I see what looks distinctly like a body with tail attached making a mad dash across the 18 inches of can to what I suppose he thought was “safety”. Now, let me interject here to say that as I replay this scene in my head, this tail and hindquarters of said rodent looks significantly larger in my mind than it was in reality. Back to horrific event…I shrieked and looked away as I dropped the box into the can which subsequently made it fall over and most assuredly gave the mouse an escape route. Well I was NOT about to go and find out or stand the garbage can back up causing either a standoff with the mouse or a glimpse at a very smushed (is that a word?) body. When Jer got home I told him about my close encounter with the rodent kind and he said “oh, you mean the dead, quite squished mouse on the bottom of the garbage can?” AHA!!!! Revenge was mine and I won! Just think what I could accomplish wide awake with 2 good knees…
posted by erin on Nov 1
Today is a good day. Why? I don’t know…it just is. I chose it to be. I was looking at the emoticon on the side of my blog and I was going to change it. I was browsing the different emotions that you can choose from and the thought that crossed my mind was “what kind of mood do you choose to be in today?” Hmmm…that’s an interesting thought. I looked over them and thought to myself “Is it a prediction of what kind of day I’m going to have if I choose ‘overwhelmed’ or ‘worried’ or ‘anxious’? Do I then speak those emotions into being?” I may actually feel some of those things, but what do I do with them? Do I carry them as a torch and let my emotions run my day and my reactions? Yes, usually I do. See, I’m not writing this because I have this mastered, I just have never paid much attention to how my reactions to the girls reflect my attitude towards something else. I may “say” I’m not worrying about my dad or the situation, but why then am I yelling at my kids more often? Today I choose contentment. I choose to go about my day with a purpose and do all the things that I have to do. We are moving in two weeks after all. I guess that means packing is in order : ) I need to start making lists, organizing, simplifying.
This isn’t actually what I sat down to write about and this post kind of took on a life of it’s own. I was going to just update on my dad. My dad is sitting more and they want him to start walking around tomorrow because they don’t want him in the lying down position for too many days in a row. More risk of pneumonia and other such bad complications. He still can’t talk, but he tries to form words and my mom said that if she has an idea of what he’s trying to say she can kind of understand him. This is a good sign, because then when the swelling on his tongue goes down, his speech should improve.
My parents finally got to talk to the plastic surgeon that was doing some of the surgery. Apparently they had to take more of his tongue than they first thought. This is not good news because of all the implications that go with it…loss of feeling to more of his tongue, more speech impediments, more eating troubles, but you know what? God is bigger than that. He made the tongue to do what it’s supposed to do and I believe (and my mom expressed the same thoughts this morning) that He can miraculously restore feeling and use to my dad. And you know what? If that doesn’t happen, that doesn’t change my view of God. Then He will help my dad to function in the best way possible and He will give him the grace and strength to adapt. He won’t give him more than he can handle. That’s the beauty of God. He loves us and He wants the best for us. My dad has made some very poor choices. Now he must live with the consequences of those actions, but that doesn’t mean God is less favorable towards him or less gracious. It doesn’t mean that He’s going to leave him to his own devices because he “screwed up”. After all, what is redemption for? For the screw-up. Me. You. My dad. Just a thought.