Fully Alive…Ready to Smile

posted by erin on Dec 17

I got this forwarded to me in my email and I laughed…hard!! It was exactly what I needed to read this morning. I woke up with my resolve firmly in place to stop eating so many sweeties in the next couple weeks, but after reading this…ah, who cares.

1. Avoid carrot sticks. Anyone who puts carrots on a holiday buffet table knows nothing of the Christmas spirit. In fact, if you see carrots, leave immediately. Go next door, where they’re serving rum balls.
2. Drink as much eggnog as you can. And quickly. It’s rare. You can’t find it any other time of year but now. So drink up! Who cares that it has 10,000 calories in every sip? It’s not as if you’re going to turn into an eggnog-alcoholic or something. It’s a treat. Enjoy it. Have one for me. Have two. It’s later than you think. It’s Christmas!
3. If something comes with gravy, use it. That’s the whole point of gravy. Gravy does not stand alone. Pour it on. Make a volcano out of your mashed potatoes. Fill it with gravy. Eat the volcano. Repeat step #3.
4. As for mashed potatoes, always ask if they’re made with skim milk or whole milk. If it’s skim, pass. Why bother? It’s like buying a sports car with an automatic transmission.
5. Do not have a snack before going to a party in an effort to control your eating. The whole point of going to a Christmas party is to eat other people’s food for free. Lots of it. Hello?
6. Under no circumstances should you exercise between now and New Year’s. You can do that in January when you have nothing else to do. This is the time for long naps, which you’ll need after circling the buffet table while carrying a 10-pound plate of food and that vat of eggnog.
7. If you come across some thing really good at a buffet table, like frosted Christmas cookies in the shape and size of Santa, position yourself near them and don’t budge. Have as many as you can before becoming the center of attention. They’re like a beautiful pair of shoes. If you leave them behind, you’re never going to see them again.
8. Same for pies. Apple. Pumpkin. Mincemeat. Have a slice of each. Or if you don’t like mincemeat, have two apples and one pumpkin. Always have three. When else do you get to have more than one dessert? Labor Day?
9. Did someone mention fruitcake? Granted, it’s loaded with the mandatory celebratory calories, but avoid it at all cost. I mean, have some standards.
10. One final tip: If you don’t feel terrible when you leave the party or get up from the table, you haven’t been paying attention. Re-read tips; start over, but hurry, January is just around the corner.

Remember this motto to live by:”Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, chocolate in one hand, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming “WOO HOO what a ride!”Have a great holiday season!

So there you have it. Words of wisdom!

Here’s a picture of Janice and I from the wedding which went really well. The ceremony was beautiful, held at the flower conservatory at one of the big parks around here. The reception was small and intimate at our local reception hall. We had Chinese food and cheesecake. Lovely! Janice was nice and relaxed and the whole day just went really smoothly.

On Saturday we had our annual Christmas party with 18 of our closest friends and we had a blast. Minus the fact that we had to leave right after supper to go to my Grandma’s viewing half an hour away and then come back after it was over. We ended up staying at the party until 2 a.m.

Yesterday was my Grandma’s funeral. It was nice. We had the service and then a lunch. After the lunch we made our way to the cemetery in our town and did the burial. We left the kids at Jer’s parents for the day as I didn’t think it was necessary for them to be at the funeral. They are too small to understand and it was easier on us to not have to deal with them all day. We stayed at Jer’s parents for supper and then got a message from our friends inviting us to come for coffee. As tired as I was, it was nice to relax with friends at the end of a day like that and just laugh and visit. It was what I needed.

On a side note about my Grandma’s funeral, a tragic thing happened right before.  A couple from our town who was on the way to my Grandma’s funeral were in a car accident and the woman (who was in the passenger side) died when their vehicle wrapped around a tree on one of the boulevards.  He’s in critical condition.  What a terrible thing to happen.  What a waste.  Now someone else has to bury their wife, mother, grandmother, sister, friend.  My Grandma died a peaceful death and we were all at peace with that.  This death was so senseless and untimely.  My heart goes out to that family and all their loved ones.

Now I think I have to focus on Christmas seeing as it’s 1 week away. I’ll start and hopefully finish my shopping this week. Are the rest of you all ready for Christmas?