posted by erin on Nov 17
Ask if it’s okay if you don’t buy me any gifts this year, just gift certificates! My love language is gifts, not “gift-certificates!” (as per conversations with my mom this morning) Grrr…
***I KNOW Christmas is not about gifts and it doesn’t take ALL the fun out, it just really annoys me. Just to clarify***
posted by erin on Nov 16
My father hath returned to our humble abode! Yay!!! He was released today after 18 days in the hospital. They took out all his tubes yesterday and he’s been able to have a liquid diet. His tongue is still quite swollen, but he’s able to breathe and swallow on his own now, as well as talk (somewhat muffled). My girls are SOOO excited that he’s home. Every day Aidan asks where Papa is. She’ll be happy to wake up from her nap this afternoon to find him here.
In other news our new house is well on it’s way. They framed in the basement walk-out wall on Wednesday. Yesterday the floor joists went on and today all the exterior walls are up. They want to lift the roof trusses up by Tuesday next week. Then I’ll take a picture so you can all see what it looks like…kind of.
posted by erin on Nov 15
So for the second installment of out of the book Lists to “Live by for Every Caring Family” we are touching on what our children see in us and what they learn from us. These foundational qualities that we desire our kids to possess must first come from us. Makes you think a little about your reaction to situations knowing that their are little eyes on us at all times…especially in our weakest of moments.
Qualities to Pass on to Your Children
Charles R. Swindoll from Growing Strong in the Seasons of Life
posted by erin on Nov 14
…you hear your two year old in the other room talking with her sister and it sounds something like this…
“What are you doing Aidan?”
“I’m just pooping. Just be quiet and wash tv!” (translation: mind your own business and give me some privacy!)
How about telling mommy you have to go and then use the toilet?! Just a thought.
posted by erin on Nov 14
Next stop on our Blogroll tour is an enchanting place…‘Twas Brillig. I don’t even remember how I came to find her…perhaps through Dedee. Whatever the case, I fell in love with her blog. She’s got such a knack for writing and before I knew it, on that first visit to her place I was in her archives and hanging onto every word. I was laughing out loud. My husband was giving me weird looks and kept asking what I was reading that I found so amusing and I responded the same way, time after time “oh, just a great blog I found.” I think I actually made it through her entire archives in one sitting…my bottom was slightly numb.
I feel slightly intimidated by this woman. She has quite a following, she has a serious way with words and she is very intelligent. Some of my favorite things about her blog are her Soap Opera Sundays and her Flashback Fridays. They are humorous and witty. They apparently all actually happened to her. Maybe it’s the fact that she has had quite the interesting existence that intimidates me. My life experience seems to pale in comparison. Brillig has no lack of blog fodder and it’s truly interesting. She leaves you hanging at the end of each post banging on her door asking for more. But alas, you must wait until next week.
She’s very interactive with her blog readers and I love that she manages to evoke such a sense of community. She’s decidedly straightforward and says things the way they are, yet she’s tactful at the same time. I admire that trait. So there you have it. Go over and find out for yourself. You probably won’t be sorry…or maybe you will because you’ll have to go back all the time : )
posted by erin on Nov 13
Do you think it would work to duct tape my laptop to the treadmill so that I will get off my large-ish buttox and use it? Just wondering.
posted by erin on Nov 12
The Plan…
Tara and I were having one of our lovely neighborly chats the other day and she mentioned that she had done the Special K Challenge and it had worked well for her. I decided I had nothing to lose…except maybe a few pounds : ) I asked her to join me on the challenge and I think she will be…right, Tara? So today is day one of my challenge which involves eating Special K cereal (and fruit if I want) for breakfast and lunch. For snacks I can have Special K snack bars and/or fruit and veggies and then for supper I can eat whatever. I’m doing it for 2 weeks and I’m hoping to use my treadmill as much as I can this winter. I want to battle the “sit-at-home-and-stuff-my-face-and-gain-all-kinds-of-winter-weight” syndrome. It usually hits around the end of September (suspiciously around the same time as all the season premiers on tv…hmmm). This year I’ve managed to hold off until now. So I’m getting better. This is actually a great eating plan for me right now because I’ve been skipping breakfasts, which I usually don’t do, but for some reason I just haven’t been getting around to eating in the morning. And lunch has been a terrible failure for me the last couple of weeks. I think in the busyness I’ve been forgoing healthy options for quick options and that is NOT helping. Not to mention all the Halloween candy. Ick. I’ll let you know how it goes.
The Update…
Yesterday my mom and Ella and I went to visit my dad. He’s now been in the hospital for 2 weeks. He’s feeling really good, the swelling on his face is almost gone and now they are waiting for the swelling on his tongue to diminish so that he can swallow and breathe on his own without the help of the tracheotomy and then he can come home. Possibly another week or so. He’s getting really bored and restless. Thank you again to everyone who has prayed for him and my family and left me encouraging comments and emails. Very much appreciated!
And now for another meme. Avery tagged me days and days ago with this one, but I’ve been so busy that I hadn’t done it until now. So here’s another 8 things, which is actually more like 56 things divided into 7 categories and then 8 more people I have to tag. Whew…
8 Things
8 things I’m passionate about:
8 things I want to do before I die:
8 things I say often:
8 books I’ve read recently:
8 songs that I could listen to over and over:
8 things that attract me to my best friend
8 things I’ve learned this past year:
8 people who should do this meme and not complain:
posted by erin on Nov 11
Michelle from My Semblance of Sanity, one of my cool new blogging buddies, (waving…Hi Michelle!) tagged me to do this meme. I think I am random all on my own without having to find 8 actual things that are random about me, but I’ll try. So here it goes…
Uno – I can only speak English. I understand some German, but only enough to know if someone’s talking about me and really that’s all that’s important.
Zwei (pronounced tsvy if you don’t know German, which I don’t really) – Contrary to popular belief, I’m not really vain at all, I just pretend to be to boost my self esteem and get a few laughs in the process. So don’t hate me because I’m beautiful, kay?
Troi – I’ve gained like 10 or 15 pounds in the last 3 weeks. Randomness…
Four – Sometimes I snort when I laugh…especially if it’s really funny. And then I laugh harder. So making me laugh when I’m drinking anything, especially fizzy stuff is not a good idea. Erin spewing Pepsi from her nose…not pretty.
Foyve (that’s Australian, seriously or maybe British) – I used to spend countless hours in high school (okay, junior high before I became too cool to do this kind of retarded stuff) pretending I was Australian or British and talking with an accent. How annoying.
Sechs (I know I already did German, but I wanted to write it because it sounds like…use your imaginations, and it was funny at midnight. SO grade 3, I know) – My feet are asleep right now from sitting in the same position for so long because DIAL-UP INTERNET SUCKS. I feel better now. Sorry, I wasn’t yelling at you…
Sette (yay, Italian!) – I’ve been to Italy. I LOVE Italy. I HEART Italy! I wish sometimes that I was the product of a mad love affair my mom had with some amazing Italian dude and I could get an Italian citizenship so that I could say say I was something other than mennonite and I could travel to the “homeland of my heart” more often…not that I don’t love my dad, he’s just not useful in the “I was born or begotten in a really cool country” scenario. And yeah, I’m a mennonite. But I only eat perogies. That’s the only thing that makes me mennonite. That and maybe my awesome last name. And the fact that my mom did NOT have a sordid love affair with any Italian guy and has been married to my dad for 31 years.
OCHO (it had to be done in Spanish because for some reason when we were on our Mexico mission trip 11 years ago, every time someone heard the word “eight” everyone yelled “OCHO” at the top of their lungs…it was funny) – I LUV french fries. I craved french fries when I was pregnant (both times). I make Jer order things with french fries if my meal doesn’t come with any so that I can mooch off of him. I HAVE to eat 2 french fries at a time. Not one…TWO. Always. So I eat twice as many. Probably explains the extra 10 pounds…
And now I will tag 8 lovlies:
posted by erin on Nov 10
Well, we’re here, spending our first night back at my parents. I say BACK because exactly 2 years ago we moved in here the first time while our house was being built. Crazy how it’s exactly the same day, November 10, 2 years later and we’re doing it again whilst our next house is being built. Hear me now…THIS IS THE LAST TIME!!!!! Not the last time we build, the last time we live with my parents…or any parents…
I am very thankful that they’ve opened up their home for me and my crazy brood…okay, who are we kidding, I AM the crazy one (it was proven to me once again tonight as Jer’s eyes started to glaze over during one of my bright shiny moments).
A big bonus this time around is that we actually have a house started prior to moving into mom and dad’s.
See…
Last time we had to live at mom and dad’s for FIVE MONTHS and they only started building our house in late January sometime (remember, we moved in same date). This time we’ve actually started building before we moved. That makes me happy. The framing is to begin on Monday, YAY! And we want to have more hands on participation in this house, so we’ll be spending some quality time at the house insulating, painting, installing hardwoods and tile, prepping basement and garage floors…which means we won’t be here. This is a good thing…absence maketh the heart grow fonderish (that’s a good word…fonderish…fonderish…yup, I like it).
Anyway, we started at 9:00 this morning with moving out the appliances and big stuff with the help of some friends (thanks Jay and Dan!). Then after lunch the second wave of help arrived and they moved a lot of boxes and other larger items (thanks Dave and James!). By the time we arrived here at 7:00 p.m. Our house was almost empty. I just wanted to get a good start today and instead we got almost everything moved (and packed). I must be getting really good at this or I’m throwing out way too much stuff : ) So now we have a few more cupboards to empty out, toys to sort through and pack and then the cleaning must commence.
I was really emotional all day. I felt really, really sad. It was hard to take everything out of it’s place and pack it away. It was hard to move the girls’ stuff out of their rooms. It was hard to remove ourselves from the house. I’ve been finding that this week with all the emotions of moving, of my dad’s situation, time of the month, other stuff I’m working through, I’m a little bit of a bear. And not the warm, fuzzy kind, either. The angry, grizzly kind. I’m kind of snappy and agitated. I feel a little out of sorts with myself and I feel really bad for Jer having to put up with me. He’s doing a stellar job, though. High five!
On a bright note, I finally became inspired with a design for our new house and now I have a plan. And Erin with a plan is somethin’ else. I have paint colors picked and I know where they are going (could change at a moment’s notice, but as an interior decorator that’s my prerogative , wouldn’t you say?), I finalized my lighting (it’s going to be frickin’ awesome!!), and now I just need a house to put the plan into action. I found that when I formulated the idea in my head, I was better able to detach myself from the house we’re moving out of and focus instead on the journey ahead. In fact, I got really excited. I can’t wait to put all my ideas together. To see how it all turns out. I can’t wait for Boxing Day sales so I can shop for fabric and make curtains and buy pictures : ) I can’t wait for UPS to drop off the box at Jer’s office with our first light fixture that I ordered yesterday from Home Depot so I can hold it and look at it and dream about how it’s going to look frickin’ awesome over our dining room table.
And even though it’s only a flip house, I will still turn it into our home, get attached just like I said I would try not to and then it will be the same cycle a year from now. Kind of like how we have babies and watch them grow up and then we have to let them go into the world and be all they can be…or something…or maybe it’s not quite like that. Sounded good in my head. But I AM really tired, so that explains all the rambling junk that I just made you read, pretending to myself that you all really care and have actually made it to the bottom of the tediously, long post.
I’m going to go to bed…in my old room…at my parents…with my husband…kind of weird and gross…oh, stop, nothing’s going to happen. I’ve decided living at ma and pa’s is GREAT birth control : ) Too much information, I know. Nighty night.
posted by erin on Nov 9
While I was packing today I found a little book that I got a couple years ago and it really impacted me then. Maybe you’ve heard of the “Lists to Live by” series. This one was for “every caring family.” So I’m going to post one of these lists every week in an attempt to remind myself of some of these wise words and share them with all of you out there with families. Can’t hurt, right?
Children Learn What They Live
By Dorothy Law Nolte (Author of Children Learn What They Live)
posted by erin on Nov 8
My two-year old daughter is talking a lot these days. Sometimes what she says is pretty hilarious.
For example:
Aidan lifts up her shirt the other day and points to her nipples…
“Mommy, these my hello kitties!”
Huh?
posted by erin on Nov 7
I decided to start introducing you to the lovelies on my blogroll today. I posted yesterday about how I want to feature one blogger that I have on my blogroll every week (hopefully, but there may be a little down time while we’re in between houses). I want to explain why I read the blogs I do. Who are these amazing people? What do they have to offer? Why should YOU go read them if you haven’t already done so? Questions I will attempt to answer. I wasn’t sure how to proceed without offending anyone, so I decided to start from the top and work my way down. So without further ado, I present to you my first buddy…
RUTH from “It’s true”, sighed roo. If you’ve ever ready any of her posts (like this one, or this one), you’ll know why she is on my blogroll. This is one special woman. I am incredibly honored to know Ruth in real life. And let me tell you, she is even more beautiful in person…she just exudes this awesome energy and vitality that you know comes naturally and supernaturally. She has such a heart for Jesus and is passionate to show that heart to others. When she writes, she goes deep. She makes you think. She makes you ponder. I love how she sees things with such clarity and vision. How she sees the side of an ordinary situation that most people wouldn’t see. She can turn absolutely ANYTHING into a teaching moment. And teach me she has. I thank you, Ruth, for your nuggets of wisdom, your sweet comments, your soft heart and your friendship above all. You are a queen among women!
posted by erin on Nov 6
I took the pictures off my walls this afternoon and for some reason that was the saddest thing for me. It stripped the personality out of my house. Suddenly it felt like we were no longer at home. What a weird feeling. This is going to be a hard move for me. This is the first house we’ve lived in during our marriage that I’ve truly felt “at home.” I became attached. Very attached. I put a lot of heart into the decorating and getting settled. Now it’s 4 days till we won’t live here anymore and it’s very sad. As excited as I am about building our new house, I’m feeling really emotional about leaving. Luckily I adapt easily and quickly. I’m sure even though I said I won’t get attached to the next house because it’s just a flip house I will be very attached by the time we move in. Even though we don’t plan to live there more than a year, I’ll still put my heart into decorating it and making it home. That’s just an intrinsic part of who I am.
My dad is doing really good. They took one of the drain tubes off of one of the surgery sites. One less tube which I’m sure is always welcome. He’s in good spirits and I’m sure starting to get restless. I think they’ll keep him there at least another week.
I’ve decided to start a new thing on my blog. Each week (or two if I forget) I’m going to feature one blog…give a little linky love…and explain WHY they happen to be on my blogroll. It’s a way to introduce you to the people who make me smile every week. Then I’m going to encourage you, if you haven’t already done so, to go check them out and say hi. I love having new people over here and so I’m sure they appreciate the same.
On that note, I’m not sure what kind of internet service I will have at my parents as they have none right now. We are going to try and get something hooked up less I wither up and die from withdrawal. I seriously don’t think I can last without checking my email 8 gazillion times a day or checking all your blogs to keep myself sane whilst living with my parents again. No one should ever have to live with their parents again…a third time…hopefully NEVER again. Love you, mom! (Just in case she decides to read this…)
In the horrific and almost unspeakable event that I have no internet connection for a period of time and seem to disappear off the face of the earth/internet, never fear, I will find a way. I may have to travel to blog, but I will. I know of a few people within a very small radius of my parents house that I’m sure will let me come use their computers, especially if I bring them baking : )
posted by erin on Nov 4
Where to begin…maybe with the more recent stuff. Jer and I took the girls and we went to visit my dad today. This was the first time I’d seen him since his surgery. I wasn’t terribly prepared for the way he looked and it took the girls quite a bit longer to adjust to it. The right side of his face (if you’re facing him) is so swollen that it looks like he has a grapefruit in his cheek…impossible, I know, but I kid you not and I exaggerate not one bit. His bottom lip is swollen and so is his tongue and the result is his tongue protruding out of his mouth, resting just on the inner part of his lip. And apparently he looks quite good already. I’m actually glad I didn’t go any sooner because I think this was hard enough. I’m sorry if this gets too graphic, please skip to the next paragraph if you are queasy. He has a stitched up scar leading from the center of his lower lip that goes down his chin and curves under his jaw line up behind his ear They had to do the same procedure that they did 4 years ago where they cut the face open and break the jaw to get to the tongue. It’s basically like peeling the face back. Gruesome, I know. Thus the massive swelling. He’s a real trooper though.
The doctor took him off the morphine yesterday so that he could stop being so drowsy and slightly loopy : ) That stuff is so harsh. They put him on Tylenol 3 and when we got there today my mom said he was doing really good today. It looked like he was in high spirits and he seemed so happy to see the girls. By the end of our visit the girls were a lot more comfortable and going to stand by the bed and talk at him (he can’t talk yet). He wrote them a sweet little note that my mom read to them…
“Aidan and Ella, your papa sure loves you very much! I’m glad that you guys came to visit me at the hospital. I’ll be better in a few weeks, but just because I look silly I’m glad you came anyway. I think Granny might have some money in her purse for some treats for you guys. A good treat for papa right now would be to take you to C&G’s for treats!”
I was sitting there trying not to cry, but it was so tender. He even made quite the silly display of turning on the weather channel on the tv so there was music and doing this little dance with his hands and feet. The girls giggled and it helped them feel a lot more at ease. My mom was quite impressed with the show of energy since he hasn’t been doing much. The doctors gave him 2 bags of blood yesterday to get his hemoglobin up (it was down to 68, normal is over 120) and I’m sure his strength will improve greatly from that. Thank you for all your encouraging comments and prayers. It’s obviously all the prayer surrounding him and my family that is making this process smooth.
On a totally different emotional note, this Friday and Saturday Jer and I attended a marriage seminar hosted by a bunch of the churches in our town. I was looking forward to it prior to the sessions and the longer the sessions went on the more uncomfortable I got. NOT because it wasn’t any good. Because it was VERY GOOD and it was hitting some really hard places in my heart. I felt like God was speaking to me on one issue in particular and it was really hard to humble myself and be honest. So I didn’t. I just got colder and colder and more and more disconnected the further into the day we got. I was building a wall around myself and my heart so that I wouldn’t break down or lose control. I was feeling convicted and I didn’t want to face it. At the end of the seminar we had to renew vows to each other. I have to admit that I felt nothing. I was so far removed from the whole thing that I had a hard time forcing the words out. I prayed that God would help me to say them and then connect the words to my heart and soften me so that what I spoke would become reality. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying that we’ve been having problems in our marriage. I was dealing with a very personal issue, but as with anything when two are involved it seeps into our relationship. God started working on me and I pray that he continues to work on my heart and mind in this area. It’s hard when you don’t really WANT to change. When you don’t want to let go. But I know I need to. I know I HAVE to. I was able to share a little bit of my heart with Jer last night and that is what started the stripping back and baring of my soul to myself. To start seeing the truth in the lies I’ve been telling myself. It was only the tip of the iceberg, but I’ve started a journal between me and God to try and wrestle through this…to be completely honest and naked before God and myself, which I can hardly do. I’ve come to realize that as much as I HATE seeing myself physically naked in the mirror, I hate seeing my spirit and soul bared even more.
I’m not an advocate for dumping personal garbage into the blogging world and that isn’t what I’m trying to do here. I’m trying to be vulnerable and accountable. I’m trying to see my way through this and sometimes talking about or writing it down really helps. I truly am a work in progress. I have many miles to go. This is just another step in my journey. My husband read this post before I published it and he gave me his blessing to share this with you all. Please hold me in your prayers.
posted by erin on Nov 2
Yep. That’s me. Not on purpose and thank the Lord Almighty not IN my house : ) But I’m ahead of myself…let me set the stage for this morning’s horrific events…
This morning, after I blearily fell down my basement stair (yes, stair, singular) and slipped on the “non-slip” bathmat in my tub (banging the same knee) I went to the back door to put some garbage in the garbage can that stands beside our stairs. What I was throwing away was actually a box with lots of papers in it and very heavy. I lean over the railing with the box poised mid air when I see what looks distinctly like a body with tail attached making a mad dash across the 18 inches of can to what I suppose he thought was “safety”. Now, let me interject here to say that as I replay this scene in my head, this tail and hindquarters of said rodent looks significantly larger in my mind than it was in reality. Back to horrific event…I shrieked and looked away as I dropped the box into the can which subsequently made it fall over and most assuredly gave the mouse an escape route. Well I was NOT about to go and find out or stand the garbage can back up causing either a standoff with the mouse or a glimpse at a very smushed (is that a word?) body. When Jer got home I told him about my close encounter with the rodent kind and he said “oh, you mean the dead, quite squished mouse on the bottom of the garbage can?” AHA!!!! Revenge was mine and I won! Just think what I could accomplish wide awake with 2 good knees…
posted by erin on Nov 1
Today is a good day. Why? I don’t know…it just is. I chose it to be. I was looking at the emoticon on the side of my blog and I was going to change it. I was browsing the different emotions that you can choose from and the thought that crossed my mind was “what kind of mood do you choose to be in today?” Hmmm…that’s an interesting thought. I looked over them and thought to myself “Is it a prediction of what kind of day I’m going to have if I choose ‘overwhelmed’ or ‘worried’ or ‘anxious’? Do I then speak those emotions into being?” I may actually feel some of those things, but what do I do with them? Do I carry them as a torch and let my emotions run my day and my reactions? Yes, usually I do. See, I’m not writing this because I have this mastered, I just have never paid much attention to how my reactions to the girls reflect my attitude towards something else. I may “say” I’m not worrying about my dad or the situation, but why then am I yelling at my kids more often? Today I choose contentment. I choose to go about my day with a purpose and do all the things that I have to do. We are moving in two weeks after all. I guess that means packing is in order : ) I need to start making lists, organizing, simplifying.
This isn’t actually what I sat down to write about and this post kind of took on a life of it’s own. I was going to just update on my dad. My dad is sitting more and they want him to start walking around tomorrow because they don’t want him in the lying down position for too many days in a row. More risk of pneumonia and other such bad complications. He still can’t talk, but he tries to form words and my mom said that if she has an idea of what he’s trying to say she can kind of understand him. This is a good sign, because then when the swelling on his tongue goes down, his speech should improve.
My parents finally got to talk to the plastic surgeon that was doing some of the surgery. Apparently they had to take more of his tongue than they first thought. This is not good news because of all the implications that go with it…loss of feeling to more of his tongue, more speech impediments, more eating troubles, but you know what? God is bigger than that. He made the tongue to do what it’s supposed to do and I believe (and my mom expressed the same thoughts this morning) that He can miraculously restore feeling and use to my dad. And you know what? If that doesn’t happen, that doesn’t change my view of God. Then He will help my dad to function in the best way possible and He will give him the grace and strength to adapt. He won’t give him more than he can handle. That’s the beauty of God. He loves us and He wants the best for us. My dad has made some very poor choices. Now he must live with the consequences of those actions, but that doesn’t mean God is less favorable towards him or less gracious. It doesn’t mean that He’s going to leave him to his own devices because he “screwed up”. After all, what is redemption for? For the screw-up. Me. You. My dad. Just a thought.
posted by erin on Oct 30
Okay, this post isn’t actually about that, but I guess it could be. Dad didn’t get out of recovery until 6:30 a.m. when they took him to his room. By that point they had managed to get the pain under control and he had settled down a bit. Contrary to what was first expected, they did not have to replace jaw bone with shin bone (yay), but he did have some teeth removed and part of his tongue replaced with tissue from his leg. He was communicating quite a bit today by way of pen and paper and even though he was dozing in and out a lot, he was coherent. By this evening, though, he was getting a little more agitated I suppose because of the pain. The nurse who came to talk to my mom said that they see a lot of these surgeries through that ward and in comparison to a lot of them he was doing really well. So that was comforting. His tongue was nice and pink and the blood was flowing through where they had reconnected the new tissue. They say he’s on his way to a good recovery. This is all very good news. My mom said that there hasn’t been a doctor in to see them yet so she still doesn’t know all the gory details. Hopefully each day will continue to improve.
posted by erin on Oct 30
I know spilled milk is not something we’re supposed to get uptight about, but when it happens 3 times in the same day by the same child…uptight doesn’t really describe my attitude!!
posted by erin on Oct 29
Well, my dad made it through a long and harrowing surgery. He’s in lots of pain, feeling quite panicky and apparently his face looks awful. The surgery took less time than they first predicted which is a good thing. He was put under at 7:30 this morning and he was in recovery by 5:00 p.m. The surgeon had figured it would take till at least 6:00 p.m., so this was good. My mom was not in a very good state when I talked to her a little while ago, mostly I think from the shock of seeing post surgery swelling and bruising and what not. She was only allowed 10 minutes with him in the recovery room and that was more than enough right now. She decided to come home and get some rest, as this first night he’ll be so heavily medicated he won’t remember if she’s not there anyway. I think this is probably for the best since the toll of the long day has just been too much on her and she’s a little traumatized. Hopefully her outlook will be better once she gets some sleep.
Please keep my dad in your prayers for a quick recovery with no complications. Also that the pain will subside and that he’ll be able to rest and relax. I’m sure I’ll have more specific prayer requests as the days go on and we see the progress. Thank you for all your lovely comments and support in the last few days. It’s been a balm to my heart!
posted by erin on Oct 27
I’ve been avoiding the subject like the plague. Maybe I’m in denial. Maybe I’ve got a lot of faith (one can only hope). Maybe it’s just is too much to talk about. Maybe I’m still just a little girl who thinks her daddy is invincible.
My dad is going in for surgery on Monday (Oct. 29) to remove the cancer on his jaw/tongue. He had cancer on his tongue 4 1/2 years ago and they removed a quarter of his tongue then and replaced it with tissue from his thigh. It was a traumatic time (his surgery was the day I was due with Ella and he didn’t come home until after she was born). The face of my father has changed. He used to be an amazing singer and since his surgery will not sing…not that he can’t, I think he just won’t because it’s hard to sing and even talk around a tongue that is numb. This is very painful for me because my dad’s beautiful voice has always been something I’ve been proud of and my daughters will never get to know that. But in exchange for this he is alive. I still have my dad.
Now we face this road again. This time they have to remove part of his jaw on the right side of his face and the bottom teeth on that side. They will replace the jawbone with bone from his shin and then he’ll have to go to Edmonton at some point to get new teeth.
Not to mention the removing of the cancer. It’s such a scary word that carries all kinds of connotations with it. The little demons that follow it around and try and get in my head and heart. I will not let them. I’m trying with all my might to not think about it. Not because I’m denying it, but because there is nothing I can do. Worrying changes nothing. Faith changes everything. I will believe that God is bigger than this and that He has my dad in his care. I choose to believe in something bigger than me, than cancer. I choose because I know the power of prayer and healing. I choose because I have no other choice. Well, I have one other choice, fear, but I won’t choose that.
I’m hoping that this journey will be easier on him and us because there is no alcohol involved this time (he was in withdrawal last time he had surgery and it was pure hell…I didn’t know this, I was told it was combinations of drugs and complications of surgery). Hopefully the healing process will be quicker because of his body being better able to handle it.
Please pray for my dad. Please.