Fully Alive…Ready to Smile

And a happy new year to everyone!!!  Hope it’s filled with blessings and wonderful things. 

Click to enlarge 

1.  Definitely, definitely go shopping in the middle of the night!  Avoid the crowds, line ups and lack of shopping carts.  Walmart at 1:00 a.m. is pure bliss!  Regardless of the fact that I should have been in bed and am paying for it today…I got the last little bit of my Christmas shopping done and I had a great time doing it with Shelley.  We wandered around the deserted store just enjoying our time.  I DO find, however, that I spend money that would otherwise not be spent because I’m not in a rush and my brain is a little on the slow side with decision making so I don’t listen to the little voice in my head that says “Um, you don’t need that!”.  Case in point, Shelley and I both purchased a bit of a novelty item.  She mentioned that she had never done a paint by number.  Seriously?!  Who has never done a paint by number?!  I found us some kick a$$ paint by number kits and we both bought one and we are going to do them together before she up and moves across the country Isn’t it fun?  It’s called “Taste of Italy”   

2.  Do NOT buy your 3-year old a grey sweater dress to wear as her Christmas dress.  She will NOT like it.  I put what I thought was a lovely dress on my darling child and she immediately and vehemently exlcaimed, “I want to take it off because it’s not beautiful enough!!!”  Okay, then.  My mom has set a standard that will not be lowered by my girls.  So a few days later, Granny took her shopping to pick out a pattern and fabric…y.  Yes, Aidan got to have the final say in the choice, since apparently her opinion has sway.  Here’s what she chose… 

 Are we surprised?  I know, neither was I.  We seem to have a nasty case of princess syndrome in our household.

3.  We all know now that you MUST, MUST, MUST check your tree stand before putting a large-ish tree up with hundreds of ornaments and lights on it.  Otherwise you WILL decorate it a few times.  It’s back up and it’s as beautiful or more beautiful than it was the first time.  My total hours of decorating this formidable tree came to something ridiculous like 7 hours…over the course of a week.  The first time took me 3 hours and then after the dang thing fell I kind of lost heart for a while.  I would hang an ornament or two and then just sigh and walk away.  Finally, on Saturday, one week after the “incident” I just got it over with and finished.

   

4.  No matter how cold it is (freakin’ -43 (which is -45 F) with the windchill…I know, we are ridiculous to live here!) or whether or not your child has puked that day, Christmas concerts MUST be attended.  Ella was determined to say her line and she did such a wonderful job!  I’m so proud of her because she loves being on stage and speaks so clearly, while both myself and Jer are terrified of public speaking and always have been since we were small.  So this is unexpected and wonderful!  And by the way, SHE was quite happy with the outfit I picked for her to wear this Christmas.  

 5.  Take time to enjoy a sunset, nature or the beauty in the stillness.  With the busyness of the holiday season I think a lot of us forget to stop and be amazed at the gloriousness of creation around us.  We get so wrapped up in the consumerism and the parties and the go, go, go, that we miss moments that are truly spectacular.It may be -45 degrees, but isn’t it lovely in my backyard?  (for interest sake, those are in fact the actual colors of the sunset that night, no PhotoShop involved)

 

 6.  Take pictures!

 

It appears someone is following in their mama’s footsteps  (To see more of my recent pictures, please feel free to go here.) 

7.  Most of all, remember how blessed you really are.  Enjoy time with your family.  Cherish every moment because life is too short.  If you have children, these are the memories that will stay with them, make them special.  Since it’s looking to be rather busy for the next week, I will likely not be here.  So I wish you all a very blessed Christmas!

    

I can just see the looks on all your faces after reading that title.  The only one who will truly understand and appreciate that title will be my cousin Elin, who affectionately dubbed me the “concert w*hore” because of the incredible repretoire of concerts that I have attended. 

If anyone had a chance to take a peek at my sidebar at any point during the last year, you would have noticed an ongoing list of concerts that were upcoming in my future.  Josh Groban, Michael Buble, William Joseph, Reba and Kelly, Oasis, Celine Dion, etc. 

I was sad to notice that the concerts are all over and the new year appeared to be dawning with no new ones on the horizon.  I’ve been searching Ticketmaster to see if anyone good was coming to town.  I’m THAT pathetic.  I go in search of concerts.  It’s an addiction, I know.  

Lucky for me, my cousin Jen saved the day.  I am going with her and two other fabulous girls to Minneapolis in April to the Britney Spears concert.  SQUEEEEEE!!!  Don’t go hatin’ on me for liking Britney ’cause she needs loving just like anyone else.  Her new cd is on my Christmas list and I have to admit that I had to stop myself yesterday from buying it.

 

Four more months…I wonder who else is coming to town in the meantime  

Today was the loveliness that is a day without children.  Today I started and nearly finished my Christmas shopping.  In a record 39 minutes I was in and out of Toys R Us with all but one of my girls’ gifts.  Yay me!  

I love shopping.  I love Christmas shopping.  I love Christmas shopping when I have no children to drag in and out of stores, dressing and undressing them to accomodate frigid temperatures outside and overheatedness inside.  I love Christmas shopping on a Monday when there is a more subdued, happy atmosphere in the stores because it is the people who WANT to be out shopping rather than the frantic, crazy weekend shoppers who HAVE to be there.  I love the bustle of said people in the stores and malls as they are searching for that perfect gift.  I love the sound of Christmas music playing in the background and all the decorations in the stores.  I love walking past Santa’s Village in the center of the mall, watching parents trying to convince their little ones to sit on a strange, fattish, bearded man’s lap for a picture when they don’t like pictures or strange men to begin with.  I love wandering around the bookstore, Starbucks Frappacino in hand, reveling in the merry atmosphere that bookstores seem to have at Christmas, while my wishlist grows and grows.  

I do NOT love my car’s heat not working as I drive from store to store in -30 C (-22 F) weather.  Although I DO love the new pink mittens I was forced to buy to keep my poor fingers warm while driving in such cold conditions.  I also do not love the toy department in Sears, which is in complete and utter disarray.  All other departments in the store are clean and well maintained, but the toy section…oh.my.word!!  Not a pretty sight.  In fact, it was so horrid, that I turned around and walked out.  I didn’t even spend the time browsing.  It would have been futile.  I also do not like ordering a gift for one of my girls on the same store’s website and being notified that the expected date of shipment will be March 23, 2009.  Um…right.  I think that may be just a skosh late to really be considered a Christmas present.  

I also do NOT love the thought of the impending tree redecorating awaiting me.  :(  But it must needs be done and done it shall be.  Tomorrow.  Today I am just too tired to tackle the job.  So instead I will wrap gifts…and I love wrapping gifts!  At least the tree is back in an upright position, so the presents can actually sit under it, rather than beside or adjacent to it.  The lights have yet to be detangled…a job that I have assigned to Jer, as it daunts me so.  My girls wonder if they can help with the decorating again, but I just don’t think I have the fortitude or stamina to be gracious through yet ANOTHER decorating session.  It was hard for me to let go the first time and let them lump ornaments in a mish mash fashion.  I totally took them all off and repositioned them after they were in bed.  The joys of having a mother who decorates as her job  Poor kids.  I’ve made up my mind that we will forthwith have 2 or more trees in our household from next Christmas on.  It will be for the benefit of all involved…unless of course they all decide to fall over, in which case we will ban Christmas trees altogether.  

 

 *Picture taken by Jer (first time using my camera)…not bad!

“OH NO!!!” and “What HAPPENED?” were not the reactions I was looking for this morning when the girls awoke.  I had striven for more of a “WOW!  That’s beautiful!” or “Oooohhh, it’s so sparkly!”

That was before it fell over in the middle of the night.  The tree.  It fell.  All my ornaments scattered and strewn.  Some broken.  The lights half hanging off in a tangled web of mess.  THREE HOURS of decorating.  THREE HOURS of thoughtfully placing each and every one of my over 300 ornament in it’s perfect place to create a masterpiece.  It really was.  Before it fell.  

I wanted to cry…in fact, I do believe there was a tear or two shed as I sat amongst the shattered ornaments and pine needles, wondering where to start.  It was devastating.  All that hard work for nothing.  The stand is broken, so I can’t even redecorate until we get a new one which won’t be until tomorrow.

The weird thing is I awoke to the sound of an ornament dropping to the floor and rolling.  I thought, “Ack, why does that stupid ornament keep falling off?”, but apparently it was a much louder commotion that woke Jer up.  He goes flying out of our room and I’m all like, “Whoa, it’s just an ornament, no need to overreact, there, big guy!”  He comes wandering back to our room looking decidedly dejected and I sit up with a vague sense of forboding.  

“It fell over, didn’t it?”  That’s the only reason I can think of for looking so down about the mouth.

In hind sight some of it was rather funny.  I’m sitting there picking up all the pieces of glass and hooks, putting the ornaments that were still in tact in a box, letting loose a stream of swear words in my head, but Jer is just sitting there sleepily holding the tree up.  For 10 minutes, he just sat there…blinking  He had no idea what to do.  I finished up and looked at him.  ”You planning to sit there all night holding the tree?  Cause I’m going back to bed.”  I’m pretty sure he glared at me.  Snarkiness reigns at 2 a.m.

He leaned it against the wall, dragged a t.v. up from the basement to set in front of the tree so that it didn’t slip, and crawled back in bed.

Then the girls woke up this morning and I cringed beneath my blanket as I heard their little footsteps going towards the living room.  The collective gasp and exclamations were almost enough to send me careening into another fit of tears.  Sigh.  

Repeat after myself, “I love to decorate, I love to decorate, I love to decorate…” 

Anyone want to take a wild guess what I did all afternoon?  No, didn’t fold the laundry that’s been sitting there since Sunday Monday.  Nope, completely ignored the girls’ rooms in the wake of Hurricane Ellaidan.  Wash the floors…right, I wish (actually when they are dirty with a slight film there is less risk of slipping and breaking a limb ).  I sang ABBA songs  Happy sigh.

Two days ago the ABBA SingStar disc was released and in my rather ridiculously impulsive manner, I sped to the big city (half an hour from home) in search of it yesterday, only to come home empty handed.  After about the 7th store Aidan sighed heavily, “Still no SingStar, Mommy?”  She’s 3.  

 

Today I called the Future Shop nearest our home (again, half an hour away) and asked if they happened to have the game.  She checked.  They had one.  I asked if she could hold it for me…”Will you be here today sometime?” to which I replied that I would be there within the hour.  This was at 10:13 a.m.  Ella gets home from school at 11:40 a.m.  The drive to the Future Shop is 35 minutes from my house.  Anyone do math?  I left home at 10:22, I made it to the store, got the game and was home by 11:27.  Oh yeah.  Where there’s a SingStar will, there’s a way!!  But I’m not obsessed.  Just saying.

Just as I’m also not obsessed with Twilight.  Or the movie.  Or Edward.  I’m not.  Really.  See…

 

What?!?  I didn’t tell you I was going to be in the movie.  Hmm.  Silly me.  Must have slipped my mind  :)  Because I totally don’t do stupid crap at 2 a.m like photoshopping myself into pictures.  Noooo!!!  I’m sleeping like all the rest of human kind out there.  Okay, maybe I have a bit of a problem sleeping a lot of the time and then I do things like that in Photoshop because I can.  

Okaaayyyy… 

~awkward silence (crickets chirpping)~ 

Anyhoo, today we went to pick out our Christmas tree at the local gas station (how quaintly small town, huh?).  Whilst there, we noticed our good friends had their tree picked out as well, marked with an orange tag ready to be delivered to their house tonight.  I had this sudden urge to take the tag and put it on a scraggly Charlie Brown tree so that they would get a little surprise upon delivery  Of course, I would have gotten their real tree to them after, but I just wanted to play a prank.  Unfortunately, she was under the weather this week and I didn’t think she would take too kindly to the joke and her hubby probably wouldn’t have thanked me for the trouble he would have gotten into, seeing as he was the one who went to pick out the tree.

Another funny thing happened on our tree excursion.  When you pick the tree you want, you go into the gas station and pay for it, then they give you a tag that says “SOLD” on it and you go back out and tie it to your tree.  We were in the process of paying when a friend came in and Jer stopped to talk to him.  Even though there was no one else in the tree lot when we had been there, I said “Let’s go Jer, can’t have anyone buying our tree!” kind of as a joke, since there is a largeish selection of trees.  Not so funny.  I walk outside to see two men getting ready to load a tree onto the back of a truck.  I wander into the tree cage and one of the men comes in after me.  ”We didn’t take the tree you had picked, did we?”  I glance over and notice a hole where our tree had been standing.  I giggle a little embarrassedly, “Actually, I think you DID.”  I felt so bad.  But it was a good tree.  Obviously.  I mean, what are the chances that we all wanted the same tree?

     Anyone else out there as unprepared for Christmas as me?  Let’s see…

* Christmas decorating – NOPE* Christmas baking – Uh uh * Gifts purchased – Not a one * Cards sent out – Again, no (remind me when I see you to give you one, they are actually made)

So I’m thinking January may very well be here before I actually get my rear in motion.  And you’d think I’d have had enough time to prepare.  I mean, it’s not like it comes upon us unawares.  Nobody suddenly changed the date of Christmas.  Nuh uh.  No excuses here.  Just too busy being lazy.  Perhaps I’ll be Ukranian this year and celebrate it a little later since that’s about when I’ll be ready  Although Valentine’s Day is looking a little more feasible at this rate. 

 

I made up my mind after my last post about the decisions…photography course, reflexology course, yada yada.  Today I enrolled in the reflexology course for February.  I also called the photography school and found out they have another offering of the course in April.  April = better roads.  That made my decision a lot easier.  As much as I really, really want to take the photography course now, I know that it’s more responsible of me to wait until I don’t have to commute in on icy roads each week.  Look at me being all responsible.  That’s new and different.  I’m super duper excited about the reflexology course.  I’m going to make everyone around me feel better one foot and hand at a time  In any case, I’m hoping it will give me the chance to earn a little extra money if I want.  It’s something I can do on my own time in my own space (or someone else’s).  And you know, I’d be willing to travel if you all out there want to have your feet poked and prodded.  Ha, ha.In the meantime I’ll keep taking pictures and trying to learn on my own and from books.  Here’s a few pictures that I took today.     To see the rest of my pictures you can go to my Flickr account. 

Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know I’ve been missing for a while.  I’ve been wandering aimlessly wondering where to direct my time.  I want to do something other than sit in front of my Wii decorating fictional character’s houses  No really, I’m feeling like I need me some skillz!  Or at least do something with the ones I have!  I have so much inside of me waiting to burst forth, but no avenue to do it.  I love to decorate.  I love to take pictures.  I love to create.  It’s inbred in me.  

I woke up this morning with an itch to do something.  To learn.  To provide outlet for my crazy ideas.  So then, flooding into my sleep adled brain comes the idea that I should take some courses.  Me.  Erin.  The one who hated school.  Who hates structure.  Who hates schedules.  I jump out of bed, suddenly not tired at all, and in a matter of half an hour I’m ready to sign up for a photography course and a reflexology course.  Huh?

Um, yeah…before the decorator appeared in me, before the photographer was birthed, there lived a different soul.  A soul who wanted to nurture and take care.  A person who loved feet and giving massages.  Knowing that I was making someone feel better at the touch of my hand was such an incredible feeling.  Today I open up a brochure for courses at a local school and noticed they are offering reflexology courses.  I’m suddenly inspired again!  I say to Jer, “Remember when I was going to have my own little home office all decorated beautifully and spa-like with soft music and candles and I was going to do reflexology?”  But to do that all the time??  Meh…  

Then I remember there is this great school in our city that apparently has some really good photography courses.  Oh what fun that would be!  My problem is that it’s in the dead of winter and I’d have to drive 45 minutes on roads that won’t always promise to be good.  I would risk missing classes if I pursue it right now.  Perhaps I should wait until spring and do it when I know I’m not putting my life at the mercy of our winter weather.  The problem is I want it NOW!  I have the idea in my head and it is dying to get out.  When I become consumed with an idea it drives me into a frenzy!  I need to see it come to fruition.

But I DO have this little problem.  I’ve discovered I fly off the starting line with great intentions only to fizzle out somewhere along the journey.  Finding one area of expertise to work in kind of bores me.  I can’t actually imagine myself working in one thing exclusively, which is why I haven’t actively pursued decorating as a career.  I get really inspired, I feel like I’m going to burst with all the ideas and then WHAM…it’s gone.  Then for weeks I don’t have a single idea or even a smidgen of desire to decorate.  But during that time I’ll pick up my camera and be utterly consumed with taking pictures.  My family forgets what I look like without my camera glued to my face.  Then as suddenly as the passion to take pictures comes, it dies out and I’m looking for something else.  

The solution?  Maybe I need to do more than one thing.  Can you just picture it?  I’ll take your picture one day, work on your feet the next day and decorating your house a different day  How funny is that.Most often I just end up doing nothing.  I get so overwhelmed with all these pursuits that I find myself frozen, unable to get the motivation to do any of it.  I have so many things that I want to do TODAY.  So I don’t do anything.  I want to bundle up, take my camera and go for a walk in the snow and find something magical to photograph.  I want to design a house.  I want to decorate for Christmas.  I want, I want, I want…

Maybe I’ll just go do my Wii Fit and expend some pent up angst. 

Here are the final two… 

BOOK REVIEW

by Andrea

ELLEN DEGENERES has just written a book called “The SNOWBALL in the SLIPPERY POPCORN.”  The main character in this ENERGETIC story is a COZY woman named AVERY who has just been elected president.  She must decide whether to spend money on making SMELLY bombs, sending people to the planet SNICKERDOODLE or building PLAYGROUNDS to accomodate the growing population.  The author creates many HAIRY moments and you will find yourself sitting on the edge of your TELEVISION late at night because you cannot stop CRYING this book.  AVERY turns out to be the greatest president in the last century and leads the people to peace and DREAMY.  This book is written QUICKLY and should be nominated for a NOBEL PRIZE.

 

A FABLE

By Ami

Once upon a time there was a very curious girl who was always poking her nose into everybody’s BUGS.  She kept company with a FLIGHTY man named FRANKLIN, who was always buying her FUZZY presents.  Once he gave her a diamond DUMBBELL to wear in her SWIMMING POOL, and he bought her a COLORFUL SHOE to wear in her HAIR.  Then one day he bought her a STINKY horse.  As soon as she saw the CLOUDY animal she began to examine it QUICKLY.  First she looked at the horse’s HAIRSPRAY, and then at its NOSES.  Then she opened its mouth so she could look at its TOENAIL.  At this, the horse became SHORT and bit off her PUPPY.  Moral: Never look a gift horse in the DESK.

Still waiting for a few, but here are most of the Mad Libs I have for you reading pleasure.  I typed them really fast, so I apologize for any typing errors.  I haven’t had a chance to reread them

DESCRIPTION OF THE LOVELY GROUP THAT I AM IN

by Carol VR

 

We are having a perfectly FABULOUS time this evening in the SLINKY home of FIONA.  The rooms are decorated CUNNINGLY with many stylish DISHES that must have cost at least SIX dollars.  The guests are all LEATHERY conversationalists and are all PROVACATIVELY dressed.  DAYNE has been entertaining us by telling about the time he showed his SMOOTH JAR to TALIA, who mistook it for an early American SOAP.  The refreshements are BUBBLY and the idea of serving PERFUME on the rocks showed SWEET imagination.  Visiting here is always a STICKY experience.

 

QUICK QUIZ

by Elin

Who am I?  I am a STRIPED Canadian.  I was born 13 years ago in BANGKOK.  When my father first saw me he said, “GROOVY!”  I am 26 feet tall, have LOOSE-KNIT brown eyes, and a SOFT-BOILED complexion.  My hobby is collecting STREET LAMPS.  I always speak FURIOUSLY and I have made several STUBBORN motion pictures.  I am married to ERIN, the well known Hollywood FLOOR.  I have given away thousands of WALLS to charity.  My most prominent physical characteristics are my POLISHED nose and my large CEILING.  Who am I?

 Answer: I am JER. 

 

THE SPACE SHUTTLE

by Carla

In 1981, the U.S. launched the first real Space FERRET.  It was called a COUSIN Shuttle because it not only went up into UNATTRACTIVE space, it also came back.  It was named the “Columbia” and was piloted by two brave EGGS.  They had practiced FLIRTING for two years and were expert IMMIGRANTS.  The Colombia took off from PARIS using its powerful first stage PECANS.  At an altitude of COUNTLESS feet, it went into orbit around the GLOBE.  After THREE orbits, the Shuttle landed ENDEARINGLY at THE NORTH POLE.  It was a PREGNANT day for the U.S. Space Program.

 

NEWSPAPER ARTICLE

by Jen H

Mrs. Fifi Vanderbold, the HIDEOUS and SMALL heiress, has filed for divorce from her husband, Percy Vanderbold, the former FABULOUS SHOE of Harvard, class of ‘38, now in the PURSE business.  Mrs. Vanderbold claimed that her husband had BOLDLY given her a CANDLE in the eye and had kicked her twice in the DESIGNER DRESS and the PANTIES.  Mr. Vanderbold, when asked to comment, said “ABSO-F***IN-LUTELY!  This is a SEXY lie.  I only pinched her in the COCKTAIL.”

 

 ADVICE TO PROSPECTIVE PARENTS

By Elleah

 Congratulations to all of you NOISY mothers and DRY fathers.  You are about to give birth to a PUFFED WHEAT.  Remember, a happy child comes from a happy TOILET.  Undoubtedly, the SHINY will cause many changes in your life.  You’ll have to get up at four a.m. to give the little WART it’s bottle of SQUISHY milk.  Later, when he’s 690 years old, he’ll learn to walk and you’ll hear the patter of little THISTLES around the house.  And in no time he’ll be talking BOUNCILY and calling you his “PENCIL” and “BABY.”  It’s no wonder they are called little bundles of TEETH. 

 

MY DREAM MAN

by Louise

My “Dream Man” should, first of all, be very BEAUTIFUL and ABRUPT.  He should have a physique like KENNY ROGER, a profile like DOLLY PARTON, and the intelligence of REX (Louise’s dog).  He must be polite and always remember to light my CLOSET, to tip his BATHROOM, and to take my PLUNGER when crossing the street.  He should move ABNORMALLY, should have a HIDEOUS voice, and should always dress QUIETLY.  I would also like him to be a PATTERNED dancer, and when we’re alone, he should whisper MUFFLED nothings in my HOME and hold my FADED FRIDGE.  I know a FUNNY man like this is hard to find.  In fact, the only one I can think of is LOUISE. 

 

HOW TO GO TO SLEEP

By Jenene

If you have trouble falling asleep, you probably have a WILLOWY mind.  You must learn to relax so you will have a TEENY-TINY mind.  First, drink a cup of hot LIGHTER FLUID and stretch out on a DEFECTIVE bed in a GRUMPY position.  Then, breathe AWKWARDLY and think about something beautiful such as LOPSIDED SNAILS.  Do not think about your NAUSEATING enemies.  Concentrate on someone restful, such as BERTHA, who will make your mind more PSYCHEDELIC.  Or count imaginary NOSE HAIRS jumping over a SABER SAW.  Follow these rules and you will fall into a SOGGY sleep the minute your LOBSTER hits the pillow. 

 

FABLE

by Beth

Once upon a time a SILLY BOOT expert named DANNY felt an ABSURD pain.  He sent for an INCONCLUSIVE surgeon who looked at his STATUESQUE stomach and said “BUHUH HUH HA! HAH HAH HAH HUH!”  Then he muttered MATTER OF FACTLY, “I see your trouble.  The NEBULA on your ORGANIC stomach is overlapping the ECHO next to your kidney.”  The surgeon LONG-WINDEDLY took him to the X-RATED operating room of the hospital.  There he made a QUIZZICAL incision reaching from the patient’s BOUQUET to his CENTRE.  ”YEEOWZAA!” said the surgeon.  ”That takes care of that ETHEREAL BOTTLE.”  With that, he began sewing up the incision.  However, on the tenth stitch the patient sneezed and almost pulled the HIGHLIGHTER out of the JURY, but the surgeon took one final stitch and saved the OCEAN.  Moral: An SMOKE ALARM in time saves nine. 

I’d like a few more players for the Mad Libs game, so if you are interested, go to the post below and leave me a comment.  I’m still waiting on a few people’s answers and then I’ll start posting the stories.  :)

I received a great response about the last game of Mad Libs we played here, soooo, if you missed out on the first one or want to play again, here’s your chance.  I have 19 pages left in my Mad Libs book, so 19 unique and awesome stories for you to hear (and if by chance I get MORE than 19 would be players, I’ll choose some to duplicate…if that were to ever happen).  What you need to do is leave a comment here and I’ll email you a list of words I need from you.  Then you can email me back your list and I’ll post your stories.  It’s easy, it’s funny and it’s a surefire way to get me to blog  For the rules, go to the Mad Libs game here… 

I don’t know if I’m just being completely uninteresting, if I’m not commenting on enough blogs (I know this is true), or if I’m just not writing enough these days and people have forgotten about me, but I’m feeling a little lonely over here in my little corner of bloglandia.  It seems that there’s just a few sweet die hard commenters left to keep me company (waving…”hi guys…glad you still stop in!”), and that’s just because I pay them.  Kidding.

Admittedly, I’ve been feeling a bit of laziness when it comes to blogging…and to a lot of other things.  Except my dishes.  I’ve upped the ante on doing dishes around here since the plague infestation of fruit flies.  And I’m totally on top of updating my Facebook status.  So other than having a bit of OCD when it comes to cleaning my kitchen and stalking people on Facebook, I’ve become a bum.

I have a list of things I’d like to do and projects I’d like to complete.  Want to see it?  It actually exists.  I spend more time updating my list than actually DOING any of it.  A few things have been knocked off the list because the guilt was becoming a little to heavy to carry, lol   Like starting to work on my cross-stitch again and we finally wrote to our sponsor child.

I hadn’t worked on my cross-stitch in 2 years.  Okay, you can all stop laughing at me now.  Yes, I am COOL enough to cross-stitch!  I started when I was diagnosed with Crohn’s Disease and I was too sick to do anything other than lie around.  It helped me pass the time and I found it very relaxing.  And since I can’t paint or draw it was my way to make beautiful pieces or art.  I saw the first one below hanging in a shop and it was love at first sight.  I bought all the material, floss (thread) and almost $100 worth of metallic thread and beads. I give you

THE KISS (sorry for all the icky lines on it…don’t know why it’s showing up like that).

Here’s a close-up of the face and some of the beadwork.

It had approx. 36,000 stitches in it and took me 4 months to do it.  My dad was so impressed that he offered to pay for the framing because he said it shouldn’t just sit on a shelf somewhere after all that work.

I made another one a few years later from the same line of work.

SLEEPING BEAUTY

Now I’m working on a third one by the same artist.  Here’s what it will look like when it’s finished (except I’m doing it on a really nice lighter beige linen…I didn’t like the pinky orange color of the suggested linen).  I’m almost done.  Right now I’m working on the bottom two green and blue pieces of material and then the beadwork.

THE DREAMER

So now you all know my secret.  I see these hanging in the library I’m going to have one day.  Can’t you just picture it?  Dark wood shelving floor to ceiling with all my books, plush carpets, floor to ceiling windows, huge comfy reading chairs, a fireplace and these pictures hanging around the room.  It will be like something out of a storybook when I’m done.  Sigh.

Oh, and here’s the one I’m going to start once “The Dreamer” is complete.  It’s for Ella until I have a library to hang it in

CINDERELLA

I’ll change the color of the background linen to something more neutral and I would NEVER frame it in gold (ick).  Anyway.

Off to cross-stitch! 

I haven’t posted in almost a week, so I’m going to do something easy.  Here’s my life in the last week and a half as per my Facebook status.  So those of you who are my friend on Facebook…it’s just a recap for you.

November 3

Erin is cleaning. Weird (11:03 a.m.)  Now I recall this morning vividly.  A weird thing happened, I woke up and WANTED to clean.  It happens so rarely that when the drive hits I just go! 

Erin is in a crazy mood (3:07 p.m.)  Not sure what that was all about.  Perhaps I used some cleaning solution that got me a little loopy.  Or it could just be my normal frame of mind.  Who knows, but I do think I danced.  A lot.  Possibly with a mop.  Hmmm… I also got a comment on my blog that day from Kimberly saying that it sounded like I was drunk or lacking sleep.  I blogged about socks and that deemed me loco.  By the way the sock thing is working out for me.

November 4

Erin is never taking her hat off…EVER!!! Oh the $$$ I will save on hair products (9:04 a.m.)  The previous night we had the pleasure of having a lovely dinner at my cousins house and I swiped this hat off my darling Jen (who sells them and lots of other beAutiful  stuff through her business Pink Fusion)…speaking of which, I think I still need to pay for it.    Good thing I’m going to a Pink Fusion party tonight.  I’m bringing hats back…yeah.

Erin still has the hat on. Good hat. Pink Fusion hat. Jen can Hook.You.Up! (5:03 p.m.)  I ended up wearing it until I went to bed that night.  My head was SOOO itchy when I took it off.  And I think it bruised my forehead.  Can that happen, do you think?  It definitely hurt.  I’ve never worn a hat, I don’t think.  At least not for any stretch of time since I always thought I looked dorky in hats.  

Erin is…something I’m sure. Just don’t know what. (10:46 p.m.) Grasping at straws for something interesting to write.  Failing miserably.  Probably should have just gone to bed at that point.  Likely didn’t.  

November 5

Erin is looking forward to washing her hair, lol. Love the hat, but love clean hair more . (9:02 a.m.)  Don’t think I had washed my hair in 3 days by now, and the combination of wearing a hat for 13 hours and hair product from the day before that made a lovely coiff.  

Erin hopes her new Photoshop book comes quickly. I NEED to know more!!! (10:01 a.m.)  I ordered a book specifically for PhotoShop Elements 7.0 so as to help me get the most of the program.  I have been having so much fun playing around in it though and learning what I can on my own.  Here are a few more things I’ve done recently…

 

Erin has 6 kids for the evening! It’ll be an adventure.  (5:27)  Yes, I am superwoman.  I babysat my cousins 4 kids and had my own 2.  Okay, so it didn’t really take superwoman powers to have them here since they are great kids. 

November 6

Erin is going into hibernation and hiding for the next 5 months until the sun comes out and the weather gets nice. I’ll be here if you need me.  (10:29 a.m.)  It snowed.  ‘Nuf said.

Erin is counting down…20 minutes till the goobers are in bed and then it’s mama’s tv time!! (7:11 p.m.)  The dreary snowy weather kind of set the mood for the day and by 7:00 I was ready for some peace and quiet.  Not to mention it was Thursday.  LOVE Thursday t.v.!

Erin is super excited…just got tickets to see “Twilight!” Edward Cullen, here we come (8:43 p.m.) And then I got pre-sale tickets to go see Twilight on opening weekend and I was in my happy place!

November 7

Erin wonders, is going grocery shopping a smart idea??? (8:05 a.m.)  The snow continued on through the night and we woke up to very, very icy roads, making travel not such a grand idea.  But we needed food.  

Erin thinks we don’t need food THAT bad. Perhaps going back to bed with a book is a better idea . (8:40 a.m.) Forty minutes later I was not convinced we really needed to eat that day.  I mean, I’ve gained that pesky 5 or 6 pounds back, so really, a snow day locked in the house with absolutely no food was in my favor.

Erin is going to try a persimmon and a pomegranate. Any tips on how to eat either?? (4:44 p.m.)  Obviously the need for nourishment and the thought of being trapped in the house for one second longer with my kids (At this point I hadn’t been out of the house since Tuesday…Mama needed to get out.  NOW!) was a greater pull because I don’t actually keep persimmon and pomegranates in my house as a rule.  I was feeling adventurous.

November 8

Erin is going to make homemade perogies this afternoon. (9:00 a.m.)  First of all, what was I doing up at 9:00 on a Saturday morning???  Heh.  And yes you read that right, I actually made homemade perogies.  Well, if we’re being completely honest, my mom came over and I stood there trying to be useful while she slammed out some awesomeness.  I was pretty much useless.  Although I DO know how to work that spoon full of filling.  Yup.

Erin had a great time with friends. As always. Love my friends (10:43 p.m.)  We had a lovely evening at Louise’s house for a potluck get together.  Comfort food all the way…chicken fingers, popcorn chicken, potato casserole, perogies and sausage, chips, pasta salad.  Not a veggie to be seen, lol : )

November 9

Erin is annoyed by fruit flies!!! They are the bain of my existence these days. (9:45 a.m.)  Yes, we’ve been overrun by the nasty little suckers.  Gah!!

Erin wants a Wii Fit NOW! Trying to find one is ridiculous! Wish me luck that I’ll get one for a decent price on ebay. (5:27 p.m.)  Yes, I got a Wii.  I’ve officially become a gamer, lol.  First the PS2 and SingStar, now a Wii.  Sigh.  My hobbies are getting expensive.  I got it mainly, as my status states, because I want a Wii Fit to exercise this winter.  I’ve stopped jogging because the weather has turned on me and I’m feeling the poundage creep back to the waistline.  

November 10

Erin is looking forward to an evening of fun…perogies, SingStar and Trivial Pursuit!!! (9:08 a.m.)  We had invited company over for the evening.  Fairly self explanatory.

Erin has a hoarse voice from singing all evening!! (11:13 p.m.)  So the perogies were rockin’!  The Trivial Pursuit never happened because we spent 3 hours singing our lungs out with SingStar.  I was so proud of everyone.  Everyone sang.  We had so much fun.  Just imagine how much more fun we’ll have when Abba SingStar comes out in 2 1/2 weeks!!!  YEEEEEEEE!!!!

November 11

Erin is really, really excited to see Jabbawockeez tonight! (9:22 a.m.)  We went to see the Jabbawockeez with our friends Chris and Tara.  The Jabbawockeez were amazing.  The MC for the evening…not so much.  I wanted to string him up by his toenails, along with everyone else in the audience.  He DID.NOT.SHUT.UP!  He just went on and on and on.  “We didn’t pay to hear you talk, buddy!  We came to see dancing.  So unless you want to bust a move, get off the stage!!”  

See, my life is really not very exciting.  And now I’m off to meet with a client about decorating his house for Christmas because his house is for sale and he wants it staged festively.  What a great job!  He doesn’t have any decorations, so I get to go and buy all the stuff and then make it beautiful.  Happy sigh.

Okay, I had a few participants.  I laughed when I read the answers and groaned when I read the ones left by my cousin (a.k.a. Borat…which, consequently, I deleted since they were, ahem, a little riske, albeit funny).

So I will reproduce the story here with each of your answers…good thing that I don’t have hoards of readers who were all dying to leave me comments   Otherwise you’d be here for a while.  For the 5 of you who did, here they are (your answers in bold).

*the story is from a Mad Libs book.  I take no credit for it.

Beauty Advice by Svea

If your skin is fuxxy or luscious, you can cure this condition with the following care.  Every morning, before washing your granite, massage it gently with a nail that has been soaked in a toilet full of warm iced tea.  Then mix together some chicken curry and crepes until the mixture becomes delightful.  Pat this onto your gory complexion for five minutes.  Then remove, using a belt and wash your face with snotty water.  Do not omit this peculiar step or your skin will become exciting.  Do this stealthily every day and you will soon be as weird as Joe Fresh.

Awesome, no??  Hee, hee, toilet full of warm iced tea.  Okay, next…

 Beauty Advice by Jen

If your skin is beautiful or loving, you can cure this condition with the following care.  Every morning, before washing your bottle, massage it gently with a chicken that has been soaked in a flower pot full of warm G and T (gin and tonic).  Then mix together some  porridge and cauliflower until the mixture becomes silly.  Pat this onto your jolly complexion for five minutes.  Then remove, using a cellphone and wash your face with worried water.  Do not omit this amused step or your skin will become dangerous.  Do this accidentally every day and you will soon be as elated as Erin.

Ah, that was good, I particularly like the “remove using a cellphone.”

Beauty Advice by Elin

  If your skin is sweet or prickly, you can cure this condition with the following care.  Every morning, before washing your hayloft, massage it gently with a microwave that has been soaked in a suitcase full of warm Pepsi.  Then mix together some pizza and jelly beans until the mixture becomes indented.  Pat this onto your scrumptious complexion for five minutes.  Then remove, using a pan and wash your face with sharp water.  Do not omit this hot (hawt) step or your skin will become rough.  Do this furiously every day and you will soon be as foul as Bar*ak.

Some of you will think that final part is funny, other’s will not.  That’s just the way the words worked…not my creation.  Just sayin’, don’t throw anything at me.  Loved the suitcase full of pepsi! 

Beauty Advice by Elleah

If your skin is funky or smelly, you can cure this condition with the following care.  Every morning, before washing your poop, massage it gently with a flower that has been soaked in a pot full of warm milk.  Then mix together some squash and macaroni until the mixture becomes bouncy.  Pat this onto your slow complexion for five minutes.  Then remove, using an axe and wash your face with ugly water.  Do not omit this curly step or your skin will become confused.  Do this rapidly every day and you will soon be as gorgeous as Josh Groban.

*This is in fact, squash and macaroni!  Whether or not it will become bouncy remains to be seen!

And, ha, I’ll bet Josh Groban doesn’t wash his poop…

Finally,

Beauty Advice by Jenn

 If your skin is shiny or rough, you can cure this condition with the following care.  Every morning, before washing your kitchen, massage it gently with a doorknob that has been soaked in a vase full of warm Pepto Bismal.  Then mix together some hot dogs and plums until the mixture becomes pretty.  Pat this onto your crooked complexion for five minutes.  Then remove, using a teacher and wash your face with tall water.  Do not omit this heavy step or your skin will become delicious.  Do this carefully every day and you will soon be as slippery as Santa Claus.

*When I Googled “slippery Santa” this is what came up…looks good

You know, she may be onto something here.  Santa would NEVER get down the chimney if he wasn’t slippery, and I bet if he drank a few of those he wouldn’t care much!

There you have it.  Thank you for participating.  Perhaps we’ll do it again, and next time I’m going to give you each your own story.  That will be fun.

…twice this week.  Not ONLY did the U.S. elect their first African American president, I started AND finished my laundry in the same day.  SAME DAY, people!  It’s a miracle.

Let’s play a game, m’kay?  Yeah, yeah, yeah!!!

Perhaps you remember it from your childhood.  I know it was one of my favorites to play when having sleepovers with my friends.  We would spend hours giggling over our crazy answers.

MAD LIBS!!!  LOVE it!!!  So here’s the deal.  I’m going to give you the list of fill-ins I need and I want you to leave me a comment in this post with your answers.  Then tomorrow I will put them together into a funny story for you.  Sounds thrilling, doesn’t it?  I know.

Okay, so before we start some of us need a quick refresher…

• ADJECTIVE: describes something or somebody.  Lumpy, soft, ugly, messy, and short are adjectives.

• ADVERB: tells how something is done.  It modifies a verb and usually ends in “ly.”  Modestly, stupidly, greedily, and carefully are adverbs.

• NOUN: is the name of a person, place or thin.  Sidewalk, umbrella, bridle, bathtub, and nose are nouns.

• VERB: is an action word. Run, pitch, jump, and swim are verbs.

• EXCLAMATION OR SILLY WORD: is any sort of funny sound, gasp, grunt, or outcry.  Wow!  Ouch!  Whomp!  Ick!  Gadzooks! are exclamations and silly words.

Here’s an example:

exclamation: Oi!

adverb: grumpily

noun:  tractor

adjective:  wrinkly

And this would be the finished product (with the fill-ins in bold):

“Oi!” he said grumpily, as he jumped into his convertible tractor and drove off with is wrinkly wife.

And there you have it.  Mad Libs.  So fun.

Okay, now it’s your turn.  Here’s the list of words I need you to give me.  Like I said, read the list and then leave me a comment in the comment section with your list.

I need:

• adjective
• adjective
• noun
• noun
• a container
• a liquid
• a food
• a food
• adjective
• adjective
• noun
• adjective
• adjective
• adjective
• adverb
• adjective
• name of a person

Okay, go.  Make me proud!  Have fun

I’m not sure where they all are, but every time I do laundry I’m left with a plethora (love that word) of socks without their mate.  Mate-less socks drive me nuts.  I realized that a lot of the missing socks were in the drawers waiting for the next load of laundry to produce their better half and they were like two ships sailing in the night.  They would get thrown into the drawer and promptly get lost in the shuffle.

So I devised a new system.  The sock wall of fame.

As I come upon socks that appear lonely and doing life without someone to walk hand in hand, erm, foot in foot with, I hang them up here above my washer.  Then the next time I do laundry, as I find single socks, I escort them to the wall of shame fame…it’s a little like a line up “Ma’am, do you recognize any of these socks?”

If they answer yes, they are happily paired back up.  Sometimes my girls don’t care and like to wear mismatched socks.  But in the long run, we’re all happier if each one finds it’s solemate…ha, ha…it’s serendipity that as I wrote that the song “Soulmate” came on the radio, bwahahahah!!!

“most relationships seem so transitory…” ROFLMAOPMP*

*rolling on the floor laughing my a$$ off peeing my pants

Is there anyone else out there who collects buttons or would want to start a collection or just likes to get fun things in the mail???  Let me know, maybe we can do a button swap. 

Thanks Carol for the GREAT idea